a-dog-person
Original: a-dog-person on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with glasses (the mother) speaks to her young daughter.
Mother: Sally, I know you wanted a little sister, but we've decided we can't handle any more kids.
Panel 2: The mother continues, smiling.
Mother: I know a regular old puppy won't make up for it, so I've been selectively breeding dogs for intelligence and hairlessness.
Panel 3: The mother gestures.
Mother: Meet Skinny!
Panel 4: The young daughter looks down at the dog, trailing off.
Daughter: I...
Mother (off-panel/continuing): He can't talk or anything, but he's just smart enough to glimpse the chasm of meaninglessness above which we all totter.
Panel 5: The mother, beaming.
Mother: Awww, jus' wook at dose big sad puppy eyes!
Panel 6: Close-up on the dog -- a nearly hairless, wrinkled dog with mournful eyes. A thought/speech caption above it.
Dog: I am but food for worms.
Votey:
A close-up of the same dog's face, now with a faint smile.
Caption: It's not so bad.
Mother: Sally, I know you wanted a little sister, but we've decided we can't handle any more kids.
Panel 2: The mother continues, smiling.
Mother: I know a regular old puppy won't make up for it, so I've been selectively breeding dogs for intelligence and hairlessness.
Panel 3: The mother gestures.
Mother: Meet Skinny!
Panel 4: The young daughter looks down at the dog, trailing off.
Daughter: I...
Mother (off-panel/continuing): He can't talk or anything, but he's just smart enough to glimpse the chasm of meaninglessness above which we all totter.
Panel 5: The mother, beaming.
Mother: Awww, jus' wook at dose big sad puppy eyes!
Panel 6: Close-up on the dog -- a nearly hairless, wrinkled dog with mournful eyes. A thought/speech caption above it.
Dog: I am but food for worms.
Votey:
A close-up of the same dog's face, now with a faint smile.
Caption: It's not so bad.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A bespectacled mother tells her small daughter, Sally, that they can't handle any more kids, so instead of a regular puppy she has been selectively breeding dogs for intelligence and hairlessness. She presents 'Skinny,' explaining he can't talk but is smart enough to glimpse the chasm of meaninglessness above which we all totter. Beaming, she coos, 'Awww, jus' wook at dose big sad puppy eyes!' The final panel is a close-up of the nearly hairless, wrinkled, mournful-eyed dog, whose thought reads, 'I am but food for worms.' The joke: the 'intelligent' dog is too smart to be happy, only existentially despairing. Votey: a close-up of the same dog now wearing a faint smile, captioned 'It's not so bad.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.