broken
Original: broken on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Interviewer (a man, in profile, seated across a desk): "Thanks for coming in, Tim. So, in what ways are you broken, and how would they improve your job performance?"
Panel 2:
Tim (the applicant, facing the interviewer): "I'm incapable of expressing emotions to other people, so I won't be an HR problem. Also, I'm too socially awkward to demand forgotten overtime pay."
Panel 3:
Interviewer: "Not bad, but we're looking for people with management potential."
Panel 4:
Tim: "Oh! Well, whenever I stop working or thinking about work, I visualize my father laughing at me for getting a photography degree only to later end up working at a cafe."
Panel 5:
Tim: "He would come in every day and tell me to make him a latte like I didn't know him."
Tim: "God, how he would smile."
Panel 6:
Tim (now grinning intensely): "I will earn and earn and earn until he is like a roach beneath my feet--"
Panel 7:
Interviewer (a woman): "Can you start Monday?"
Votey:
Close-up of a smiling woman with her eyes closed.
Woman: "Personally, I'm just a meth addict!"
Interviewer (a man, in profile, seated across a desk): "Thanks for coming in, Tim. So, in what ways are you broken, and how would they improve your job performance?"
Panel 2:
Tim (the applicant, facing the interviewer): "I'm incapable of expressing emotions to other people, so I won't be an HR problem. Also, I'm too socially awkward to demand forgotten overtime pay."
Panel 3:
Interviewer: "Not bad, but we're looking for people with management potential."
Panel 4:
Tim: "Oh! Well, whenever I stop working or thinking about work, I visualize my father laughing at me for getting a photography degree only to later end up working at a cafe."
Panel 5:
Tim: "He would come in every day and tell me to make him a latte like I didn't know him."
Tim: "God, how he would smile."
Panel 6:
Tim (now grinning intensely): "I will earn and earn and earn until he is like a roach beneath my feet--"
Panel 7:
Interviewer (a woman): "Can you start Monday?"
Votey:
Close-up of a smiling woman with her eyes closed.
Woman: "Personally, I'm just a meth addict!"
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic depicting a job interview. The interviewer asks the applicant, Tim, "Thanks for coming in, Tim. So, in what ways are you broken, and how would they improve your job performance?" Tim answers that he's incapable of expressing emotions so he won't be an HR problem, and too socially awkward to demand forgotten overtime pay. Told they want management potential, Tim escalates: whenever he stops thinking about work he visualizes his father, who laughed at him for getting a photography degree and ending up at a cafe, coming in daily to order a latte as if he didn't know him and smiling. Tim, now grinning manically, vows: "I will earn and earn and earn until he is like a roach beneath my feet--" The interviewer immediately replies, "Can you start Monday?" -- the punchline being that his traumatized, vengeful workaholism reads as the ideal employee. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of a serenely smiling woman with eyes closed who says, "Personally, I'm just a meth addict!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.