pain-into-pleasure
Original: pain-into-pleasure on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with flame-like (orange) hair, wearing a pink suit: "I'm wearing a suit that converts pain into pleasure!"
Panel 2:
The flame-haired man: "If you strike me, the kinetic energy from your fist will be harvested and used to sensually stimulate the region where the blow would've struck."
Panel 3:
The flame-haired man: "As I am erogenously tickled, leftover kinetic energy will be transmitted to a pneumatic nipple, which will emit an arousing burst of essential oil of lavender."
Panel 4:
Superman (blue suit, red cape, "S" emblem): "I don't see why this should allow you into the Justice League?"
Panel 5:
The flame-haired man: "Your adoptive parents were a couple of inbred hillbillies."
Panel 6:
Superman, looking conflicted: "I... I want to hurt you, but it'd be weird."
Panel 7:
The flame-haired man: "Precisely."
Panel 8:
Superman: "Okay, you're in."
Panel 9:
The flame-haired man, as Superman grips his hand: "Ooh, that's a strong grip." (A small "Pfff" puff of essential oil bursts from his nipple area.)
Panel 10 (banner reads "LATER..."):
Superman, now flying and holding the flame-haired man (referred to as Captain Titillation) overhead, addressing a bald man (addressed as Luther): "Stand down, Luther! Or I will throw... ugh... Captain Titillation at you."
Panel 11:
The bald man (Luther), looking defeated: "I surrender."
Votey:
A wadded-up purple pile, apparently the discarded pink-and-purple pain-into-pleasure suit, lying empty on the ground (no text).
Man with flame-like (orange) hair, wearing a pink suit: "I'm wearing a suit that converts pain into pleasure!"
Panel 2:
The flame-haired man: "If you strike me, the kinetic energy from your fist will be harvested and used to sensually stimulate the region where the blow would've struck."
Panel 3:
The flame-haired man: "As I am erogenously tickled, leftover kinetic energy will be transmitted to a pneumatic nipple, which will emit an arousing burst of essential oil of lavender."
Panel 4:
Superman (blue suit, red cape, "S" emblem): "I don't see why this should allow you into the Justice League?"
Panel 5:
The flame-haired man: "Your adoptive parents were a couple of inbred hillbillies."
Panel 6:
Superman, looking conflicted: "I... I want to hurt you, but it'd be weird."
Panel 7:
The flame-haired man: "Precisely."
Panel 8:
Superman: "Okay, you're in."
Panel 9:
The flame-haired man, as Superman grips his hand: "Ooh, that's a strong grip." (A small "Pfff" puff of essential oil bursts from his nipple area.)
Panel 10 (banner reads "LATER..."):
Superman, now flying and holding the flame-haired man (referred to as Captain Titillation) overhead, addressing a bald man (addressed as Luther): "Stand down, Luther! Or I will throw... ugh... Captain Titillation at you."
Panel 11:
The bald man (Luther), looking defeated: "I surrender."
Votey:
A wadded-up purple pile, apparently the discarded pink-and-purple pain-into-pleasure suit, lying empty on the ground (no text).
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic plus a wordless aftercomic. A man with flame-like orange hair in a pink-and-purple suit pitches Superman on joining the Justice League: his suit converts pain into pleasure, harvesting the kinetic energy of any blow to sensually stimulate the struck region, with leftover energy triggering a "pneumatic nipple" that emits a burst of lavender essential oil. Superman, frowning, doesn't see why this qualifies him. The man taunts that Superman's adoptive parents "were a couple of inbred hillbillies," and a conflicted Superman admits, "I... I want to hurt you, but it'd be weird." The man replies "Precisely," and Superman lets him in. A handshake makes the man's nipple emit a little "Pfff" puff. In a "LATER..." scene, Superman flies while holding the man (now "Captain Titillation") overhead as a weapon, threatening a bald villain named Luther: "Stand down, Luther! Or I will throw... ugh... Captain Titillation at you." The defeated Luther says, "I surrender." The aftercomic shows the man's empty pink-and-purple suit crumpled in a heap on the ground.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.