augmented-reality-3
Original: augmented-reality-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Two people sit side by side, as if on a plane or transit. On the left is a woman with brown hair; on the right is a person with light grey hair wearing a smooth augmented-reality helmet/visor.
Panel 1:
Brown-haired woman: STOP STARING AT MY CHEST.
Helmet person: I'M NOT.
Panel 2:
Helmet person: I AM STARING IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR CHEST. MY AUGMENTED REALITY HELMET TAKES METRICS ON YOUR CHEST, BUT IT DOESN'T DIRECTLY SHARE THAT INFORMATION WITH ME.
Panel 3:
Helmet person: THE DATA IS SENT TO A POWERFUL SERVER, WHERE IT IS PROCESSED AND SENT BACK TO THE HELMET, WHICH PROBABILISTICALLY GENERATES A REPRESENTATION OF YOUR BOOBS, MINUS CLOTHING.
Panel 4:
Helmet person: GIVEN THAT VIRTUAL BOOBS OCCLUDE YOUR ACTUAL CHEST, YOUR BOOBS ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PART OF YOU THAT I'M NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING AT.
Panel 5:
Brown-haired woman: TAKE THE HELMET OFF NOW.
Helmet person: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MY PRIVATE DATA ABOUT WHAT YOUR BOOBS PROBABLY LOOK LIKE!
Panel 6:
Brown-haired woman (deadpan): HUH.
Panel 7:
Brown-haired woman: I HONESTLY THOUGHT THE DYSTOPIC FUTURE WOULD INVOLVE KILLER ROBOTS, OR SOME ALL-KNOWING FASCIST OVERLORD.
Panel 8:
Helmet person: WHEN YOU TALK IN REAL LIFE, YOUR VIRTUAL BOOBS JIGGLE.
Brown-haired woman: ... AND YET, HERE WE ARE.
Votey:
A close-up of the brown-haired woman's face. A speech bubble above her reads: GIMME ONE.
Panel 1:
Brown-haired woman: STOP STARING AT MY CHEST.
Helmet person: I'M NOT.
Panel 2:
Helmet person: I AM STARING IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR CHEST. MY AUGMENTED REALITY HELMET TAKES METRICS ON YOUR CHEST, BUT IT DOESN'T DIRECTLY SHARE THAT INFORMATION WITH ME.
Panel 3:
Helmet person: THE DATA IS SENT TO A POWERFUL SERVER, WHERE IT IS PROCESSED AND SENT BACK TO THE HELMET, WHICH PROBABILISTICALLY GENERATES A REPRESENTATION OF YOUR BOOBS, MINUS CLOTHING.
Panel 4:
Helmet person: GIVEN THAT VIRTUAL BOOBS OCCLUDE YOUR ACTUAL CHEST, YOUR BOOBS ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PART OF YOU THAT I'M NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING AT.
Panel 5:
Brown-haired woman: TAKE THE HELMET OFF NOW.
Helmet person: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MY PRIVATE DATA ABOUT WHAT YOUR BOOBS PROBABLY LOOK LIKE!
Panel 6:
Brown-haired woman (deadpan): HUH.
Panel 7:
Brown-haired woman: I HONESTLY THOUGHT THE DYSTOPIC FUTURE WOULD INVOLVE KILLER ROBOTS, OR SOME ALL-KNOWING FASCIST OVERLORD.
Panel 8:
Helmet person: WHEN YOU TALK IN REAL LIFE, YOUR VIRTUAL BOOBS JIGGLE.
Brown-haired woman: ... AND YET, HERE WE ARE.
Votey:
A close-up of the brown-haired woman's face. A speech bubble above her reads: GIMME ONE.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A brown-haired woman and a person wearing a smooth augmented-reality helmet sit side by side as if on a plane. The woman snaps, "Stop staring at my chest." The helmet person replies, "I'm not," then explains that the helmet merely takes metrics on her chest and sends the data to a powerful server, which processes it and probabilistically generates a representation of her boobs, minus clothing. They argue that since these virtual boobs occlude her actual chest, her boobs are literally the only part of her they are NOT currently looking at. When she demands they take the helmet off, they protest that she has no right to their private data about what her boobs probably look like. She deadpans, "Huh," and muses that she thought the dystopic future would involve killer robots or an all-knowing fascist overlord. The helmet person adds that when she talks in real life, her virtual boobs jiggle; she replies, "...and yet, here we are." Votey: a close-up of the woman's face with a speech bubble reading "Gimme one" — she wants a helmet of her own.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.