unicorns
Original: unicorns on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with gray hair speaks.
Woman: The unicorn line in the woods. And, they will only play with you if you're a virgin.
A second person (off to the side): What?! How would they figure that out?
Panel 2:
The woman replies.
Woman: They just know.
Panel 3:
A close-up of a unicorn's face, speaking.
Unicorn: I can detect an intact hymen at 200 paces.
Panel 4:
A woman with flame-like orange hair speaks to the unicorn.
Orange-haired woman: I think I'm done with unicorns.
Unicorn: Yeah, they creep me out, too.
Votey:
A close-up line drawing of the unicorn's face and snout. A speech bubble nearby reads "Hooray." The unicorn's tongue licks out toward something below.
A woman with gray hair speaks.
Woman: The unicorn line in the woods. And, they will only play with you if you're a virgin.
A second person (off to the side): What?! How would they figure that out?
Panel 2:
The woman replies.
Woman: They just know.
Panel 3:
A close-up of a unicorn's face, speaking.
Unicorn: I can detect an intact hymen at 200 paces.
Panel 4:
A woman with flame-like orange hair speaks to the unicorn.
Orange-haired woman: I think I'm done with unicorns.
Unicorn: Yeah, they creep me out, too.
Votey:
A close-up line drawing of the unicorn's face and snout. A speech bubble nearby reads "Hooray." The unicorn's tongue licks out toward something below.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a gray-haired woman tells someone that the unicorns in the woods will only play with you if you're a virgin; the other person asks, 'What?! How would they figure that out?' Panel 2: the woman answers, 'They just know.' Panel 3: a close-up of a smug unicorn declaring, 'I can detect an intact hymen at 200 paces.' Panel 4: an orange-haired woman says, 'I think I'm done with unicorns,' and the unicorn replies, 'Yeah, they creep me out, too' — agreeing that the whole virginity-detecting premise is creepy. Votey: a line-art close-up of the unicorn's face and snout with a small speech bubble reading 'Hooray,' its tongue extended downward.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.