morale-boost
Original: morale-boost on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man in a suit (an office manager): Thanks to the magic of programmable matter and advanced acoustics, the very fabric of our office is a morale booster.
Panel 2:
Manager: When you say something, instead of reflecting the noise randomly, the walls adjust shape to capture the sound and amplify it, changing it to the phrase "I know what you do and project it directly into the speaker's ears."
Panel 3:
Manager: We think employees will find it to be reassuring. It's an acknowledgement that you know they're doing good work.
Panel 4:
Manager: If they shout, then it is enough acoustic energy to repeat the phrase over and over and over.
Panel 5:
Manager: Interestingly, sometimes the phrase itself seems to provoke shouting, which creates a virtuous cycle of morale boosting.
Panel 6:
A second man (a coworker): Do any of them ever blink?
Manager: One of the effects of high morale is that you stop sleeping.
Votey:
A large, manic close-up face with wide unblinking eyes and a strained grin: I'm glad people appreciate me
Man in a suit (an office manager): Thanks to the magic of programmable matter and advanced acoustics, the very fabric of our office is a morale booster.
Panel 2:
Manager: When you say something, instead of reflecting the noise randomly, the walls adjust shape to capture the sound and amplify it, changing it to the phrase "I know what you do and project it directly into the speaker's ears."
Panel 3:
Manager: We think employees will find it to be reassuring. It's an acknowledgement that you know they're doing good work.
Panel 4:
Manager: If they shout, then it is enough acoustic energy to repeat the phrase over and over and over.
Panel 5:
Manager: Interestingly, sometimes the phrase itself seems to provoke shouting, which creates a virtuous cycle of morale boosting.
Panel 6:
A second man (a coworker): Do any of them ever blink?
Manager: One of the effects of high morale is that you stop sleeping.
Votey:
A large, manic close-up face with wide unblinking eyes and a strained grin: I'm glad people appreciate me
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. An office manager in a suit calmly explains a new office technology to a coworker. He says that thanks to programmable matter and advanced acoustics, the office walls reshape themselves to capture whatever an employee says and transform it into the reassuring phrase "I know what you do," projecting it directly into the speaker's ears as an acknowledgement of good work. He adds that if employees shout, there is enough acoustic energy to repeat the phrase over and over, and that the phrase itself tends to provoke more shouting, creating a 'virtuous cycle of morale boosting.' In the final panel the coworker asks, 'Do any of them ever blink?' and the manager replies, 'One of the effects of high morale is that you stop sleeping.' The joke is that this 'morale booster' is actually driving employees into a sleepless, manic state. Votey (bonus panel): a crudely drawn extreme close-up of a manic face with wide, unblinking eyes and a strained toothy grin, saying 'I'm glad people appreciate me.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.