2014-11-20
Original: 2014-11-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bearded man (Captain Ahab) cups his hand to his mouth and shouts.
Ahab: HAST SEEN THE WHITE WHALE?!
Panel 2: A hand holds a yellow smartphone displaying a search.
Phone screen: searching...
Panel 3: The man looks down at his phone.
Phone (caption): WHALE FOUND AT -21.6157, 173.087834.
Panel 4: Close on the phone screen, a finger reaching toward a button.
Phone screen: Fire Harpoon?
Buttons: No (red) / Yes (green)
Panel 5: The man, eyes wild, raises the phone triumphantly.
Ahab: FROM HOME'S HEARTH, I STAB AT THEE!
Panel 6: A hand holds the phone, now showing a confirmation.
Man (off-panel): WOOHOO!
Phone screen: WHALE KILLED
Panel 7: A woman stands facing the bearded man.
Woman: DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?
Panel 8: The man looks despondent.
Ahab: I... NO. I DON'T...
Panel 9: The man speaks; the speech bubble contains a black silhouette of his profile (an empty soul).
Ahab: SOMEHOW, THE DEMISE OF THE BEAST THAT TOOK MY LEG... THE BEAST WHOSE DEATH I LUSTED AFTER... IT DOES NOTHING FOR MY SOUL.
Panel 10 (final): The man brightens up; the woman stands beside him, unimpressed.
Ahab: BUT HEY, I FOUND OUT REALLY FAST, SO THAT'S A BIG TIME SAVINGS! I'M GONNA GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
Woman: THAT'S NICE, DEAR.
Votey:
A loosely-drawn sketch of the bearded man staring intently at a screen (off to the right), shouting.
Man: GO FLAPPY BIRD GO!
Ahab: HAST SEEN THE WHITE WHALE?!
Panel 2: A hand holds a yellow smartphone displaying a search.
Phone screen: searching...
Panel 3: The man looks down at his phone.
Phone (caption): WHALE FOUND AT -21.6157, 173.087834.
Panel 4: Close on the phone screen, a finger reaching toward a button.
Phone screen: Fire Harpoon?
Buttons: No (red) / Yes (green)
Panel 5: The man, eyes wild, raises the phone triumphantly.
Ahab: FROM HOME'S HEARTH, I STAB AT THEE!
Panel 6: A hand holds the phone, now showing a confirmation.
Man (off-panel): WOOHOO!
Phone screen: WHALE KILLED
Panel 7: A woman stands facing the bearded man.
Woman: DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?
Panel 8: The man looks despondent.
Ahab: I... NO. I DON'T...
Panel 9: The man speaks; the speech bubble contains a black silhouette of his profile (an empty soul).
Ahab: SOMEHOW, THE DEMISE OF THE BEAST THAT TOOK MY LEG... THE BEAST WHOSE DEATH I LUSTED AFTER... IT DOES NOTHING FOR MY SOUL.
Panel 10 (final): The man brightens up; the woman stands beside him, unimpressed.
Ahab: BUT HEY, I FOUND OUT REALLY FAST, SO THAT'S A BIG TIME SAVINGS! I'M GONNA GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
Woman: THAT'S NICE, DEAR.
Votey:
A loosely-drawn sketch of the bearded man staring intently at a screen (off to the right), shouting.
Man: GO FLAPPY BIRD GO!
Alt text
A color comic parodying Captain Ahab from Moby-Dick hunting the white whale via smartphone. Panel 1: a wild-eyed bearded man cups his hand and shouts "Hast seen the white whale?!" Panel 2: a hand holds a yellow phone showing "searching..." Panel 3: the phone reports "Whale found at -21.6157, 173.087834." Panel 4: the phone screen asks "Fire Harpoon?" with red No and green Yes buttons, a finger reaching to tap. Panel 5: the man raises the phone and cries "From home's hearth, I stab at thee!" Panel 6: the phone now reads "Whale killed" as he yells "Woohoo!" Panel 7: a woman asks "Do you feel better now?" Panel 8: the man, deflated, says "I... no. I don't..." Panel 9: he laments at length that killing the beast that took his leg "does nothing for my soul" - his speech bubble contains a black silhouette of his own profile, signifying emptiness. Panel 10: he suddenly perks up, declaring "But hey, I found out really fast, so that's a big time savings! I'm gonna go play video games!" while the woman flatly replies "That's nice, dear." The joke: epic revenge, accomplished by an app, leaves him hollow but conveniently efficient. Votey (a rough black-and-white sketch afterthought): the bearded man stares at a screen shouting "Go Flappy Bird go!" - revealing the trivial video game his obsession has migrated to.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.