2014-11-19
Original: 2014-11-19 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (at a podium, giving a talk): LISTEN, WE COULD TALK ALL DAY LONG ABOUT WHETHER LONGE RESEARCH IS A MATERIAL SCIENCE, OR TO DEFENSE, OR TO COMPARE INVESTMENT FOR SOCIETY.
Panel 2:
Woman: WE CAN INSIST ON ITS APPLICATIONS, OR DEFENSE, OR TO DEFENSE, OR TO COMPARE INVESTMENT FOR SOCIETY.
Panel 3:
Woman: SURE, BUT THAT'S NOT WHY WE DO IT. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE HERE. THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL IN MATH CLASS, I HAD A TEACHER -- MISTER JENKSON. I AM A SCIENTIST BECAUSE OF HIM.
Panel 5:
Woman: YOU SEE... BACK WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND IMPRESSIONABLE AND A LITTLE LOST... HE SAID I WASN'T VERY GOOD AT MATH.
Panel 6:
Woman: AND EVER SINCE THEN, I'VE WANTED TO DROWN HIS STUPID FACE IN MY VICTORY!
Panel 7:
The woman, now wild-eyed and pointing at the night sky where a large asteroid streaks toward Earth: DO YOU SEE THIS, MISTER JENKSON? DO YOU SEE ME LANDING A FUCKING SPACESHIP ON A FUCKING ASTEROID? HUH?!
Panel 8:
Woman (yelling into the sky): KISS MY ASS JENKSON! YOU CAN CALCULATE THE AREA OF MY ANNULUS AND GODDAMN KISS IT!
Panel 9:
A red, demonic-looking figure (the projected image of Mister Jenkson) yells back: LOOK AT ME NOW, BITCH! LOOK AT ME!
Votey:
Large title: SCIENCE
Subtitle: How smart people hurt each other's feelings.
Woman (at a podium, giving a talk): LISTEN, WE COULD TALK ALL DAY LONG ABOUT WHETHER LONGE RESEARCH IS A MATERIAL SCIENCE, OR TO DEFENSE, OR TO COMPARE INVESTMENT FOR SOCIETY.
Panel 2:
Woman: WE CAN INSIST ON ITS APPLICATIONS, OR DEFENSE, OR TO DEFENSE, OR TO COMPARE INVESTMENT FOR SOCIETY.
Panel 3:
Woman: SURE, BUT THAT'S NOT WHY WE DO IT. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE HERE. THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL IN MATH CLASS, I HAD A TEACHER -- MISTER JENKSON. I AM A SCIENTIST BECAUSE OF HIM.
Panel 5:
Woman: YOU SEE... BACK WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND IMPRESSIONABLE AND A LITTLE LOST... HE SAID I WASN'T VERY GOOD AT MATH.
Panel 6:
Woman: AND EVER SINCE THEN, I'VE WANTED TO DROWN HIS STUPID FACE IN MY VICTORY!
Panel 7:
The woman, now wild-eyed and pointing at the night sky where a large asteroid streaks toward Earth: DO YOU SEE THIS, MISTER JENKSON? DO YOU SEE ME LANDING A FUCKING SPACESHIP ON A FUCKING ASTEROID? HUH?!
Panel 8:
Woman (yelling into the sky): KISS MY ASS JENKSON! YOU CAN CALCULATE THE AREA OF MY ANNULUS AND GODDAMN KISS IT!
Panel 9:
A red, demonic-looking figure (the projected image of Mister Jenkson) yells back: LOOK AT ME NOW, BITCH! LOOK AT ME!
Votey:
Large title: SCIENCE
Subtitle: How smart people hurt each other's feelings.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A woman stands at a podium delivering a speech about why research matters. She begins philosophically, saying we could talk all day about whether research is material science or for defense or a good return on investment for society, but insists that's not why she does it. She explains that when she was a young girl in math class, she had a teacher, Mister Jenkson, and she is a scientist because of him. The reason: back when she was young and impressionable and a little lost, he told her she wasn't very good at math, and ever since she has wanted to drown his stupid face in her victory. She grows increasingly wild-eyed, pointing at the night sky where a huge asteroid streaks toward Earth, screaming, 'Do you see this, Mister Jenkson? Do you see me landing a fucking spaceship on a fucking asteroid? Huh?!' She yells, 'Kiss my ass Jenkson! You can calculate the area of my annulus and goddamn kiss it!' In the final panel a red, demonic version of Mister Jenkson appears, yelling back, 'Look at me now, bitch! Look at me!' The votey panel is a hand-lettered definition: a large word 'SCIENCE' underlined, with the subtitle 'How smart people hurt each other's feelings.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.