2014-09-04
Original: 2014-09-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Older man: You shouldn't marry for beauty. You should marry for brains.
Younger man: Why?
Panel 2:
Older man: Beauty fades quickly.
Panel 3:
Older man: Say you get married at 35. You get maybe 25 years of beauty.
Panel 4:
Older man: If you go for brains, you get, like, 45 years before that fades.
Panel 5:
Younger man: Are there any features that don't fade?
Panel 6:
Older man: I'm sure if I were your age, I'd go into a quick witch with U.S. Treasury Bonds.
Votey:
A close-up of the younger man's face, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open.
Younger man: Sooo... stable...
Older man: You shouldn't marry for beauty. You should marry for brains.
Younger man: Why?
Panel 2:
Older man: Beauty fades quickly.
Panel 3:
Older man: Say you get married at 35. You get maybe 25 years of beauty.
Panel 4:
Older man: If you go for brains, you get, like, 45 years before that fades.
Panel 5:
Younger man: Are there any features that don't fade?
Panel 6:
Older man: I'm sure if I were your age, I'd go into a quick witch with U.S. Treasury Bonds.
Votey:
A close-up of the younger man's face, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open.
Younger man: Sooo... stable...
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. An older man advises a younger man about marriage. He says you shouldn't marry for beauty but for brains, because beauty fades quickly. He calculates that if you marry at 35 you get about 25 years of beauty, but going for brains gets you roughly 45 years before that fades too. The younger man asks if there are any features that don't fade. The older man replies that if he were the younger man's age, he'd go into a quick witch (a wink at 'hitch') with U.S. Treasury Bonds. In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the younger man's wide-eyed, slack-jawed face as he murmurs dreamily, 'Sooo... stable...', captivated by the idea of marrying ultra-safe government bonds.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.