2014-08-22
Original: 2014-08-22 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Two older men stand talking to each other across all panels. They discuss "Past" and "Present" as though they were rival places or eras one might live in or visit.
Panel 1:
First man (bald, dark-skinned): Hey, what do you think of past?
Second man (balding, glasses, light-skinned): Ah, I love past. It's so much better than present.
Panel 2:
First man: You can go through a hundred years of past in an hour. It takes, like, a million times longer to get through a hundred years of present!
Second man: And everything makes space in past. In present, anything goes? It's totally unpredictable.
Panel 3:
First man: There's this one part of past where I'm younger and have no responsibility. That never happens in present.
Second man: Same here. Man, same here.
Panel 4:
First man: And most of my friends are in past.
Second man: (looking down, contemplative)
Panel 5:
First man: So, what's your opinion on future?
Second man: Don't even get me started! I'm barely even allowed there!
Votey:
Close-up on the second man's face, looking grim/disgusted.
Second man: And the kids there are DICKS.
Panel 1:
First man (bald, dark-skinned): Hey, what do you think of past?
Second man (balding, glasses, light-skinned): Ah, I love past. It's so much better than present.
Panel 2:
First man: You can go through a hundred years of past in an hour. It takes, like, a million times longer to get through a hundred years of present!
Second man: And everything makes space in past. In present, anything goes? It's totally unpredictable.
Panel 3:
First man: There's this one part of past where I'm younger and have no responsibility. That never happens in present.
Second man: Same here. Man, same here.
Panel 4:
First man: And most of my friends are in past.
Second man: (looking down, contemplative)
Panel 5:
First man: So, what's your opinion on future?
Second man: Don't even get me started! I'm barely even allowed there!
Votey:
Close-up on the second man's face, looking grim/disgusted.
Second man: And the kids there are DICKS.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic showing two older men in conversation. They talk about "past," "present," and "future" as if they were places or eras you could live in, with the deadpan tone of people comparing neighborhoods. The first man (bald, dark-skinned) asks what the other thinks of "past." The second (balding, with glasses) loves it: it's better than present, you can get through a hundred years in an hour, and everything "makes space" there, unlike unpredictable present. The first notes there's a part of past where he's younger with no responsibility and most of his friends are in past; the second agrees emphatically. When asked his opinion on "future," the second man complains he's barely even allowed there. In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the second man's grim face adds the punchline: "And the kids there are DICKS." The joke treats time periods like places old men grumble about, ending on the stereotypical old-person complaint about kids today.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.