2014-08-21
Original: 2014-08-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A dark-haired man in a coat stands looking at a tablet/phone.
Man: UGH. I FEEL LIKE I DON'T MATTER. BETTER FIRE UP EMOTO.
Panel 2: Close-up of the device screen showing an app.
Screen text: There are 4 EMOTORS in the area with 4+ stars.
Panel 3: The man taps the screen.
Screen: TRANSACTION MADE. ETA 27 SECONDS.
Panel 4: The man waits, looking impatient.
Man: UGH. I HATE WAITING.
Panel 5: A smiling woman approaches the man enthusiastically.
Woman: SIR, YOU'RE GREAT! YOU'RE GOOD AND YOU'RE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.
Panel 6: The man frowns, unimpressed.
Man: INSINCERE. THREE STARS.
Woman (panicked): NO! PLEASE! I'LL BE FIRED!
Panel 7: The man looks even more displeased.
Man: TWO STARS.
Panel 8: The man walks away alone down a dark street, looking thoughtful.
Man: MAYBE I DO MATTER.
Votey:
A close-up of the same man reclining/lounging with a satisfied expression, holding the device. A speech/thought bubble above shows a review card reading: 3 STARS.
Man: UGH. I FEEL LIKE I DON'T MATTER. BETTER FIRE UP EMOTO.
Panel 2: Close-up of the device screen showing an app.
Screen text: There are 4 EMOTORS in the area with 4+ stars.
Panel 3: The man taps the screen.
Screen: TRANSACTION MADE. ETA 27 SECONDS.
Panel 4: The man waits, looking impatient.
Man: UGH. I HATE WAITING.
Panel 5: A smiling woman approaches the man enthusiastically.
Woman: SIR, YOU'RE GREAT! YOU'RE GOOD AND YOU'RE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.
Panel 6: The man frowns, unimpressed.
Man: INSINCERE. THREE STARS.
Woman (panicked): NO! PLEASE! I'LL BE FIRED!
Panel 7: The man looks even more displeased.
Man: TWO STARS.
Panel 8: The man walks away alone down a dark street, looking thoughtful.
Man: MAYBE I DO MATTER.
Votey:
A close-up of the same man reclining/lounging with a satisfied expression, holding the device. A speech/thought bubble above shows a review card reading: 3 STARS.
Alt text
An eight-panel comic drawn in a dark, moody style. A gloomy dark-haired man in a coat says, 'Ugh. I feel like I don't matter. Better fire up Emoto,' and opens an app on his device. The screen reads 'There are 4 emotors in the area with 4+ stars.' He taps it and the screen shows 'Transaction made. ETA 27 seconds.' He waits impatiently ('Ugh. I hate waiting'). A cheerful woman rushes up and gushes, 'Sir, you're great! You're good and you're good at what you do.' The man, unmoved, says 'Insincere. Three stars,' and she begs, 'No! Please! I'll be fired!' He coldly drops her to 'Two stars,' then walks off alone down a dark street musing, 'Maybe I do matter.' The joke: a gig-economy 'Uber for emotional validation' where the customer rates the flatterers like rideshare drivers. Votey: a close-up of the same man lounging contentedly with his device, a review bubble above him reading '3 stars' — he has comfortably accepted his own mediocre rating.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.