2014-05-04
Original: 2014-05-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (holding a crying baby): What do we have here? Is it a sad baby?
Panel 2:
Man: You know why you're sad, sad baby?
Panel 3 (baby's face, distressed):
Man (off-panel): If nothing lies beyond the pale of death, nothing of value lies before it.
Panel 4:
Man: You're sad because you're a brain, and nobody's reaving you!
Panel 5 (man holding the screaming baby, bouncing it):
Sound effect: ♪ Da da dum dum dum ♪ Dum deeda deedle dum ♪
Baby: WAAAAA!
Votey:
A woman (with a flat, unimpressed expression) speaks to the man, who is slumped/hiding his face against a counter or table edge.
Woman: You're the only person who does that.
Man (holding a crying baby): What do we have here? Is it a sad baby?
Panel 2:
Man: You know why you're sad, sad baby?
Panel 3 (baby's face, distressed):
Man (off-panel): If nothing lies beyond the pale of death, nothing of value lies before it.
Panel 4:
Man: You're sad because you're a brain, and nobody's reaving you!
Panel 5 (man holding the screaming baby, bouncing it):
Sound effect: ♪ Da da dum dum dum ♪ Dum deeda deedle dum ♪
Baby: WAAAAA!
Votey:
A woman (with a flat, unimpressed expression) speaks to the man, who is slumped/hiding his face against a counter or table edge.
Woman: You're the only person who does that.
Alt text
A five-panel black-and-white comic. A man cheerfully holds a crying baby and asks, "What do we have here? Is it a sad baby?" then "You know why you're sad, sad baby?" Over a close-up of the baby's anguished face he continues philosophically: "If nothing lies beyond the pale of death, nothing of value lies before it." He concludes brightly, "You're sad because you're a brain, and nobody's reaving you!" In the final panel he bounces the still-screaming baby (WAAAAA!) while humming a cheerful tune. The joke: he's soothing a baby with bleak existentialist philosophy as if it were baby talk. Votey: a deadpan woman tells the man, who is now slumped face-down against a counter, "You're the only person who does that."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.