2014-05-03
Original: 2014-05-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mother: Mom, I feel like we aren't honest enough with each other. What is the parent-child relationship without honesty?
Panel 2:
Grandmother: Fine. Every moment you kids aren't watching, your dad and I have sex constantly.
Panel 3:
Mother: So when I go to ballet...
Grandmother: Yep.
Mother: And soccer.
Grandmother: Yep.
Mother: And candy?
Grandmother: Uhhhh yep.
Panel 4:
Mother: Thanks to you kids, we can go from zero to 'spank-me-and-call-me-nancy' in the time it takes for you to go to the mailbox.
Grandmother (small panel, distressed): Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!
Panel 5:
Grandmother: Just now, when you closed your eyes, your father unzipped my--
Mother (small panel, anguished, hands on head): No more honesty!! No more honesty!
Votey:
(No text. A person slumps face-down over the edge of a table/surface, eyes closed, looking utterly defeated.)
Mother: Mom, I feel like we aren't honest enough with each other. What is the parent-child relationship without honesty?
Panel 2:
Grandmother: Fine. Every moment you kids aren't watching, your dad and I have sex constantly.
Panel 3:
Mother: So when I go to ballet...
Grandmother: Yep.
Mother: And soccer.
Grandmother: Yep.
Mother: And candy?
Grandmother: Uhhhh yep.
Panel 4:
Mother: Thanks to you kids, we can go from zero to 'spank-me-and-call-me-nancy' in the time it takes for you to go to the mailbox.
Grandmother (small panel, distressed): Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!
Panel 5:
Grandmother: Just now, when you closed your eyes, your father unzipped my--
Mother (small panel, anguished, hands on head): No more honesty!! No more honesty!
Votey:
(No text. A person slumps face-down over the edge of a table/surface, eyes closed, looking utterly defeated.)
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A grown woman tells her mother she wants more honesty in their parent-child relationship. The grandmother obliges by revealing that she and the woman's father have sex constantly whenever the kids aren't watching. As the woman lists activities she did as a child (ballet, soccer, getting candy), the grandmother confirms 'Yep' to each, implying the parents had sex during all of them. The grandmother continues with increasingly explicit detail about how quickly they get aroused, until the woman, hands clutched to her head in anguish, cries 'No more honesty! No more honesty!' while the grandmother is mid-sentence describing her husband unzipping something. The joke is that the woman regrets asking for total honesty. Votey (aftercomic): a person slumps face-down and defeated over the edge of a surface, eyes shut, overwhelmed.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.