2014-05-01
Original: 2014-05-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Dad? I want more dessert after dinner. I'm acting as my own lobbyist to request a rule change.
Panel 2:
Father: I am prepared to give you a dollar every time ice cream is served after a meal.
Child: Forget it!
Panel 3:
Child: That's not lobbying, that's bribery!
Panel 4:
Father: Okay, what if instead I give you a dollar every day just because I like you? But if you ever stop serving ice cream, I stop giving you money.
Panel 5:
Child: It's a deal!
Panel 6:
A woman (Barbara): Should we be teaching him civics at such a young age?
Father: He'll find out eventually, Barbara.
Votey:
Caption: Later...
Child (holding ice cream): Anyone wanna buy half of my ice cream for $2.00?
Child: Dad? I want more dessert after dinner. I'm acting as my own lobbyist to request a rule change.
Panel 2:
Father: I am prepared to give you a dollar every time ice cream is served after a meal.
Child: Forget it!
Panel 3:
Child: That's not lobbying, that's bribery!
Panel 4:
Father: Okay, what if instead I give you a dollar every day just because I like you? But if you ever stop serving ice cream, I stop giving you money.
Panel 5:
Child: It's a deal!
Panel 6:
A woman (Barbara): Should we be teaching him civics at such a young age?
Father: He'll find out eventually, Barbara.
Votey:
Caption: Later...
Child (holding ice cream): Anyone wanna buy half of my ice cream for $2.00?
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A child asks, "Dad? I want more dessert after dinner. I'm acting as my own lobbyist to request a rule change." Panel 2: The father replies, "I am prepared to give you a dollar every time ice cream is served after a meal," and the child snaps, "Forget it!" Panel 3: The child protests, "That's not lobbying, that's bribery!" Panel 4: The father proposes, "Okay, what if instead I give you a dollar every day just because I like you? But if you ever stop serving ice cream, I stop giving you money." Panel 5: The child happily agrees, "It's a deal!" Panel 6: In the background, a woman named Barbara asks, "Should we be teaching him civics at such a young age?" and the father answers, "He'll find out eventually, Barbara." The joke parodies how political lobbying skirts anti-bribery rules by reframing bribes as ongoing 'gifts' contingent on favorable behavior. Votey: A 'Later...' panel shows the child holding ice cream and asking, "Anyone wanna buy half of my ice cream for $2.00?" — immediately monetizing the arrangement.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.