2014-03-20
Original: 2014-03-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Masked robber (wearing a red mask): GIMME ALL YER BOOKS!
Man behind counter: YOU MEAN ALL MY MONEY?
Masked robber: NO! EDUCATION IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL! NOW GIMME!
Panel 2 (caption): SOON.
Masked robber (holding a gun, to the man): GOOD. NICE AND EASY. PUT 'EM IN THE TOTE BAG AND NOBODY GETS HURT.
Panel 3:
Masked robber (looking through a book): REAL ANALYSIS. THIS LOOKS HARD.
Masked robber: GIMME TUTORING!
Man (off-panel / replying): OH, IT'S NOT SO BAD.
Panel 4:
The masked robber sits at a table across from the man, books and papers spread out, being tutored.
(no dialogue)
Panel 5:
A computer screen showing a form with a "Dissertation" field being filled out. The man points at the screen.
(no dialogue)
Panel 6:
The formerly masked robber, now in a graduation cap and gown, throws the cap in the air on a stage in front of an audience.
(no dialogue)
Panel 7 (caption): AWW. DAVE FELL ASLEEP WHILE FILLING OUT HIS STUDENT LOAN APPLICATION.
Two onlookers (a woman and another person) look on; Dave (the former robber) is shown asleep at a desk, dreaming the whole sequence.
Votey:
Close-up of Dave's sleeping face with a thought bubble: STILL MORE PRACTICAL THAN 250K IN DEBT.
Masked robber (wearing a red mask): GIMME ALL YER BOOKS!
Man behind counter: YOU MEAN ALL MY MONEY?
Masked robber: NO! EDUCATION IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL! NOW GIMME!
Panel 2 (caption): SOON.
Masked robber (holding a gun, to the man): GOOD. NICE AND EASY. PUT 'EM IN THE TOTE BAG AND NOBODY GETS HURT.
Panel 3:
Masked robber (looking through a book): REAL ANALYSIS. THIS LOOKS HARD.
Masked robber: GIMME TUTORING!
Man (off-panel / replying): OH, IT'S NOT SO BAD.
Panel 4:
The masked robber sits at a table across from the man, books and papers spread out, being tutored.
(no dialogue)
Panel 5:
A computer screen showing a form with a "Dissertation" field being filled out. The man points at the screen.
(no dialogue)
Panel 6:
The formerly masked robber, now in a graduation cap and gown, throws the cap in the air on a stage in front of an audience.
(no dialogue)
Panel 7 (caption): AWW. DAVE FELL ASLEEP WHILE FILLING OUT HIS STUDENT LOAN APPLICATION.
Two onlookers (a woman and another person) look on; Dave (the former robber) is shown asleep at a desk, dreaming the whole sequence.
Votey:
Close-up of Dave's sleeping face with a thought bubble: STILL MORE PRACTICAL THAN 250K IN DEBT.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A robber in a red ski mask bursts into a shop demanding "GIMME ALL YER BOOKS!" The man behind the counter asks "You mean all my money?" The robber insists "NO! Education is the greatest gift of all! Now gimme!" Panel 2, captioned "SOON," shows the robber pointing a gun, saying "Good. Nice and easy. Put 'em in the tote bag and nobody gets hurt." Panel 3: The robber flips through a book muttering "Real analysis. This looks hard," then demands "Gimme tutoring!"; the man replies "Oh, it's not so bad." Panel 4: The two sit together at a table surrounded by books and papers as the man tutors the robber. Panel 5: A computer screen shows a form with a "Dissertation" field; the man points at it. Panel 6: The former robber, now in cap and gown, tosses his graduation cap in the air onstage before an audience. Final panel, captioned "Aww. Dave fell asleep while filling out his student loan application," reveals it was all a dream as two people look at Dave slumped asleep at a desk. Votey: a close-up of Dave's sleeping face with a thought bubble reading "Still more practical than 250k in debt."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.