2014-01-13
Original: 2014-01-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (offscreen, via speech bubble): "TEST SUBJECT! You will receive a threesome in one hour. Meanwhile, you must sit in this room that contains only the complete works of Tolstoy."
[Two scientists wearing white lab coats and goggles look through a window at a young blond man inside an observation room.]
Panel 2:
Test subject (the blond man): "I... okay... I can wait..."
Panel 3 (header: LATER):
Scientist (a woman in a lab coat and goggles, standing at a podium and pointing to a diagram): "We have created a form of matter that does not experience time."
[The diagram on the easel shows a gold starfish/person shape inside an oval loop, with an arrow and the letter 't' (representing time).]
Votey:
[Close-up on the test subject's face, looking strained/disappointed.]
Speech bubble: "OR SATISFACTION"
Scientist (offscreen, via speech bubble): "TEST SUBJECT! You will receive a threesome in one hour. Meanwhile, you must sit in this room that contains only the complete works of Tolstoy."
[Two scientists wearing white lab coats and goggles look through a window at a young blond man inside an observation room.]
Panel 2:
Test subject (the blond man): "I... okay... I can wait..."
Panel 3 (header: LATER):
Scientist (a woman in a lab coat and goggles, standing at a podium and pointing to a diagram): "We have created a form of matter that does not experience time."
[The diagram on the easel shows a gold starfish/person shape inside an oval loop, with an arrow and the letter 't' (representing time).]
Votey:
[Close-up on the test subject's face, looking strained/disappointed.]
Speech bubble: "OR SATISFACTION"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: Two scientists in white lab coats and protective goggles look through a window at a young blond man seated in a bare observation room. One scientist announces, "Test subject! You will receive a threesome in one hour. Meanwhile, you must sit in this room that contains only the complete works of Tolstoy." Panel 2: Close-up of the blond test subject, who replies hesitantly, "I... okay... I can wait..." Panel 3, labeled LATER: A scientist in a lab coat and goggles stands at a podium, pointing to an easel diagram of a gold human/starfish figure inside an oval loop with an arrow and the letter 't'. She declares, "We have created a form of matter that does not experience time." The joke: by promising the threesome, they made him sit motionless through Tolstoy in a way that suspended his sense of time. Votey aftercomic: An extreme close-up of the test subject's strained, disappointed face with the speech bubble "OR SATISFACTION" — he has been so deadened by the wait that he no longer experiences satisfaction either.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.