2014-01-12
Original: 2014-01-12 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man in a suit speaks at a podium.
Speaker (man at podium): "Sure, I did drugs as a kid. I still think they should be illegal, but people in jail, deal with it!"
Panel 2: The man continues speaking from the podium.
Speaker (man at podium): "My time spent doing drugs is something I regret, and I hate to think of anyone coming away from their teenage years with any sort of regret."
Panel 3: Caption banner over a crowd scene.
Caption: "With that in mind, we've created a new police division: Bad Decision Corps."
Panel 4: Two people in the crowd react.
Person 1: "This is a violation of my rights!"
Person 2: "Do you think that goatee is attractive?"
Person 1: "Yeah! It makes me look dangerous!"
Panel 5: A uniformed officer leads a person away by the arm.
Officer: "Come with me, son."
Person being led away: "Let me go!"
Officer: "You'll thank me one day when you're paroled."
Votey: A man's face is shown in close-up against a prison-cell background of bars and brick.
Narration: "And there in prison I became... WEINERSMITH."
Speaker (man at podium): "Sure, I did drugs as a kid. I still think they should be illegal, but people in jail, deal with it!"
Panel 2: The man continues speaking from the podium.
Speaker (man at podium): "My time spent doing drugs is something I regret, and I hate to think of anyone coming away from their teenage years with any sort of regret."
Panel 3: Caption banner over a crowd scene.
Caption: "With that in mind, we've created a new police division: Bad Decision Corps."
Panel 4: Two people in the crowd react.
Person 1: "This is a violation of my rights!"
Person 2: "Do you think that goatee is attractive?"
Person 1: "Yeah! It makes me look dangerous!"
Panel 5: A uniformed officer leads a person away by the arm.
Officer: "Come with me, son."
Person being led away: "Let me go!"
Officer: "You'll thank me one day when you're paroled."
Votey: A man's face is shown in close-up against a prison-cell background of bars and brick.
Narration: "And there in prison I became... WEINERSMITH."
Alt text
A five-panel comic. A man in a suit stands at a podium giving a speech: he admits he did drugs as a kid but still thinks drugs should be illegal and that people in jail should 'deal with it,' adding that he regrets his teenage drug use and hates the thought of anyone leaving their teen years with any regret. A caption announces that with this in mind a new police division has been created: the 'Bad Decision Corps.' In the crowd, one person protests 'This is a violation of my rights!' while another asks if his goatee is attractive; the first replies that yes, it makes him look dangerous. In the final panel a uniformed officer takes a young man by the arm, saying 'Come with me, son'; the man yells 'Let me go!' and the officer answers 'You'll thank me one day when you're paroled' — the joke being that the new police arrest people for any regrettable bad decision. Votey: a close-up of a man's face behind prison bars with the narration 'And there in prison I became... WEINERSMITH,' an origin-story gag referencing cartoonist Zach Weinersmith.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.