2014-01-15
Original: 2014-01-15 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with dark hair (in a red jacket) speaks to a younger woman with light hair, who is walking away.
Dark-haired woman: COME BACK! WE'LL GIVE YOU A CREDIT CARD YOU CAN USE TO PURCHASE COLLATERAL FOR AN ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGE!
Panel 2: The light-haired woman reacts, throwing up an arm.
Light-haired woman: OH GOD!
Dark-haired woman: WAIT, DON'T RUN! OR WE'LL NEED CARDIO. YOU'VE GOT TO CONVINCE THE BANKER YOU ARE FISCALLY LARGE.
Panel 3: A bald man in a suit raises both arms enthusiastically.
Bald man: I KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE COMPOUND INTEREST!
Panel 4: The bald man, still excited, arms raised.
Bald man: I HAVE A TOP QUARTILE CREDIT RATING!
Panel 5: Wide shot. The dark-haired woman stands with arms thrown up in the middle of a room. A small figure is silhouetted in a doorway/window at the bottom. The bald man's head is visible at right.
(No dialogue.)
Panel 6: The light-haired woman raises her arms in amazement.
Light-haired woman: WOW, WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT?
Panel 7: The dark-haired woman replies.
Dark-haired woman: GIRL SCOUTING IS A LOT DIFFERENT IN NEW YORK.
Votey: A rough sketch-style panel showing a bald man (the banker) lounging back, looking pleased/smug, reclining against an abstract background of loose lines.
Dark-haired woman: COME BACK! WE'LL GIVE YOU A CREDIT CARD YOU CAN USE TO PURCHASE COLLATERAL FOR AN ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGE!
Panel 2: The light-haired woman reacts, throwing up an arm.
Light-haired woman: OH GOD!
Dark-haired woman: WAIT, DON'T RUN! OR WE'LL NEED CARDIO. YOU'VE GOT TO CONVINCE THE BANKER YOU ARE FISCALLY LARGE.
Panel 3: A bald man in a suit raises both arms enthusiastically.
Bald man: I KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE COMPOUND INTEREST!
Panel 4: The bald man, still excited, arms raised.
Bald man: I HAVE A TOP QUARTILE CREDIT RATING!
Panel 5: Wide shot. The dark-haired woman stands with arms thrown up in the middle of a room. A small figure is silhouetted in a doorway/window at the bottom. The bald man's head is visible at right.
(No dialogue.)
Panel 6: The light-haired woman raises her arms in amazement.
Light-haired woman: WOW, WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT?
Panel 7: The dark-haired woman replies.
Dark-haired woman: GIRL SCOUTING IS A LOT DIFFERENT IN NEW YORK.
Votey: A rough sketch-style panel showing a bald man (the banker) lounging back, looking pleased/smug, reclining against an abstract background of loose lines.
Alt text
A vertical SMBC comic. A dark-haired woman in a red jacket calls after a light-haired woman who is leaving, shouting that they'll give her a credit card to buy collateral for an adjustable-rate mortgage. The light-haired woman cries 'Oh God!' The dark-haired woman urges her not to run and to convince the banker she is 'fiscally large.' A bald man in a suit throws up his arms, boasting 'I know how to calculate compound interest!' and 'I have a top quartile credit rating!' In a wide shot the dark-haired woman stands triumphantly. The light-haired woman asks in amazement, 'Wow, where'd you learn that?' and the dark-haired woman answers, 'Girl Scouting is a lot different in New York.' Votey: a loose sketch of the bald banker reclining and looking smugly pleased.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.