2013-10-28
Original: 2013-10-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bald man with a beard and white sunglasses.
Man: God must be a mathematician because he made the universe obey rules.
Panel 2: A woman with reddish-brown hair and glasses.
Woman: God must be a physicist because he made the universe of point masses.
Panel 3: A man with light brown hair and large round glasses.
Man: No, God must be an engineer because he made the universe function sensibly so long as you don't look too close.
Panel 4: A woman with dark skin and pigtails.
Woman: No, God must be a biologist because he made the universe chaotic enough to permit change and stable enough to permit replication.
Panel 5: The reddish-haired woman speaks.
Woman: This is dumb. God is clearly an economist.
Panel 6: One of the others responds.
Other: How do you know?
Panel 7: The economist woman.
Woman: Have you read the story of Job?
Panel 8 (wide scene): An old, bearded man (Job) sits on a hillside while God speaks from the sky. A small altar/ziggurat with figures stands in the background.
God (from sky): Okay, so I killed off five of your kids. Here are five brand new ones! ...What's the matter?
God: Kids are a fungible commodity.
Man: God must be a mathematician because he made the universe obey rules.
Panel 2: A woman with reddish-brown hair and glasses.
Woman: God must be a physicist because he made the universe of point masses.
Panel 3: A man with light brown hair and large round glasses.
Man: No, God must be an engineer because he made the universe function sensibly so long as you don't look too close.
Panel 4: A woman with dark skin and pigtails.
Woman: No, God must be a biologist because he made the universe chaotic enough to permit change and stable enough to permit replication.
Panel 5: The reddish-haired woman speaks.
Woman: This is dumb. God is clearly an economist.
Panel 6: One of the others responds.
Other: How do you know?
Panel 7: The economist woman.
Woman: Have you read the story of Job?
Panel 8 (wide scene): An old, bearded man (Job) sits on a hillside while God speaks from the sky. A small altar/ziggurat with figures stands in the background.
God (from sky): Okay, so I killed off five of your kids. Here are five brand new ones! ...What's the matter?
God: Kids are a fungible commodity.
Alt text
A SMBC comic. Four people each argue about what profession God must be, based on the universe. A bearded man in white sunglasses says God must be a mathematician because he made the universe obey rules. A woman with glasses says God must be a physicist because he made the universe of point masses. A man with round glasses says God must be an engineer because the universe functions sensibly so long as you don't look too close. A dark-skinned woman with pigtails says God must be a biologist because the universe is chaotic enough to permit change and stable enough to permit replication. The red-haired woman cuts in: "This is dumb. God is clearly an economist." Asked how she knows, she replies, "Have you read the story of Job?" The final wide panel shows old bearded Job sitting on a hillside as God speaks from the sky: "Okay, so I killed off five of your kids. Here are five brand new ones! ...What's the matter?" then adds, "Kids are a fungible commodity."
Votey: A simple line-drawing speech bubble reads "DO THE MATH:" with the equation "5 - 5 + 5 = 5" written below it. The bubble's tail points toward a second, smiling sun-like face (echoing God's reasoning that the math of replacing children works out evenly).
Votey: A simple line-drawing speech bubble reads "DO THE MATH:" with the equation "5 - 5 + 5 = 5" written below it. The bubble's tail points toward a second, smiling sun-like face (echoing God's reasoning that the math of replacing children works out evenly).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.