2013-10-25
Original: 2013-10-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A duck-billed, beaked creature (a platypus) is suspended inside a circular apparatus, with beams of energy converging on it from the sides.
Panel 2: The same creature, now darker/silhouetted, hangs in the apparatus as the beams continue to focus on it.
Panel 3: A horizontal beam of energy streaks across a dark chamber.
Panel 4: A large explosion with a red mushroom cloud. Text: BOOM!
Panel 5 (left): A man stands at a chalkboard. Man: "DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WOULD PAY FOR THE CERN IF THEY KNEW ITS TRUE PURPOSE?"
Panel 5 (right): A man with glasses replies. Man: "IF YOU KNEW A BETTER WAY TO MAKE A PLATYPUS, THEN BUILD IT AND DO CLAIM YOUR FUCKING NOBEL!"
Votey:
A man asks: "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE NEGATIVE PLATYPI?"
Another man responds emphatically: "SHH!"
Panel 2: The same creature, now darker/silhouetted, hangs in the apparatus as the beams continue to focus on it.
Panel 3: A horizontal beam of energy streaks across a dark chamber.
Panel 4: A large explosion with a red mushroom cloud. Text: BOOM!
Panel 5 (left): A man stands at a chalkboard. Man: "DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WOULD PAY FOR THE CERN IF THEY KNEW ITS TRUE PURPOSE?"
Panel 5 (right): A man with glasses replies. Man: "IF YOU KNEW A BETTER WAY TO MAKE A PLATYPUS, THEN BUILD IT AND DO CLAIM YOUR FUCKING NOBEL!"
Votey:
A man asks: "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE NEGATIVE PLATYPI?"
Another man responds emphatically: "SHH!"
Alt text
A five-panel comic. The first two panels show a platypus suspended inside a circular particle-accelerator-like apparatus with energy beams converging on it. The third panel shows a beam streaking across a dark chamber, and the fourth is a large red mushroom-cloud explosion labeled BOOM! In the final panel, a man at a chalkboard asks another man, 'Do you think people would pay for the CERN if they knew its true purpose?' The bespectacled man retorts, 'If you knew a better way to make a platypus, then build it and do claim your fucking Nobel!' The joke: a massive particle collider is secretly used to manufacture platypuses. In the votey aftercomic, a man asks, 'What do you do with the negative platypi?' and the other sharply shushes him: 'SHH!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.