2013-08-16
Original: 2013-08-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with dark hair (presenting at a podium): After years of research on time travel, we've made a stark discovery: it IS possible, but we can only do it once.
Panel 2:
Woman at podium: The potential power for the nation that takes the one voyage is so enormous, we believe our disagreement may prompt endless wars.
Panel 3:
Woman at podium: So, we have resolved to do the altruistic thing.
Second woman: We will use this one-time voyage and kill ourselves in the past. In one action, we will destroy both time travel AND the knowledge that it was ever an option for humanity.
Panel 4:
Man in audience: That's so beautiful!
Woman in audience: We will forever be in your debt.
Panel 5:
Man with reddish hair (in the audience): Wait. If you're changing the past so time travel never gets discovered, doesn't that mean we can do anything now and it'll never actually happen?
Panel 6:
Woman at podium (uneasy): Uh...
Votey:
(A handwritten poster/sign reading:) EVERYONE FUCKS! EVERYTHING AT ONCE
(Smaller scribbled labels around a sketch:) ouch! / damn! / harder! / faster! / yes! yes! yes!
Woman with dark hair (presenting at a podium): After years of research on time travel, we've made a stark discovery: it IS possible, but we can only do it once.
Panel 2:
Woman at podium: The potential power for the nation that takes the one voyage is so enormous, we believe our disagreement may prompt endless wars.
Panel 3:
Woman at podium: So, we have resolved to do the altruistic thing.
Second woman: We will use this one-time voyage and kill ourselves in the past. In one action, we will destroy both time travel AND the knowledge that it was ever an option for humanity.
Panel 4:
Man in audience: That's so beautiful!
Woman in audience: We will forever be in your debt.
Panel 5:
Man with reddish hair (in the audience): Wait. If you're changing the past so time travel never gets discovered, doesn't that mean we can do anything now and it'll never actually happen?
Panel 6:
Woman at podium (uneasy): Uh...
Votey:
(A handwritten poster/sign reading:) EVERYONE FUCKS! EVERYTHING AT ONCE
(Smaller scribbled labels around a sketch:) ouch! / damn! / harder! / faster! / yes! yes! yes!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman with dark hair stands at a podium addressing an unseen audience. She announces that after years of research, her team has discovered time travel is possible but can only be done once. She explains the power of that single voyage is so enormous that disagreement over it may cause endless wars, so they have resolved to do the altruistic thing: a second woman beside her says they will use the one-time trip to kill themselves in the past, simultaneously destroying both time travel and all knowledge that it ever existed. Two audience members react with emotion, one saying 'That's so beautiful!' and another 'We will forever be in your debt.' Then a man with reddish hair in the audience points out: if they're changing the past so time travel is never discovered, then nobody's actions now will ever 'actually happen' anyway. The final panel shows the woman at the podium looking uneasy, saying only 'Uh...' The votey (bonus panel) is a hand-drawn sign reading 'EVERYONE FUCKS! EVERYTHING AT ONCE,' surrounded by scribbled exclamations like 'ouch!', 'harder!', 'faster!', and 'yes! yes! yes!', illustrating what the crowd takes the consequence-free realization to mean.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.