2013-08-13
Original: 2013-08-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with glasses stands at a chalkboard, gesturing toward an equation. On the chalkboard is written a square-root expression (the mean date-free path formula).
Man: The mean date-free path is given by the inhabited volume of Earth, divided by the cross-sectional area of bodies, all multiplied by the square root of two times the number of potential mates.
Panel 2: A woman with dark hair and glasses (seated) responds, looking unimpressed.
Woman: This explanation works for your lack of dates only if we assume you're an ideal gas molecule.
Panel 3: The man, still at the board, replies.
Man: I'm small and nobody's attracted to me.
Panel 4: The woman looks back at him, silent.
Panel 5: The woman gestures.
Woman: Carry on, then.
Panel 6: The man responds.
Man: Thank you.
Votey:
The man, shown in profile from behind, speaks again.
Man: Now, the sadness distribution is Gaussian.
Man: The mean date-free path is given by the inhabited volume of Earth, divided by the cross-sectional area of bodies, all multiplied by the square root of two times the number of potential mates.
Panel 2: A woman with dark hair and glasses (seated) responds, looking unimpressed.
Woman: This explanation works for your lack of dates only if we assume you're an ideal gas molecule.
Panel 3: The man, still at the board, replies.
Man: I'm small and nobody's attracted to me.
Panel 4: The woman looks back at him, silent.
Panel 5: The woman gestures.
Woman: Carry on, then.
Panel 6: The man responds.
Man: Thank you.
Votey:
The man, shown in profile from behind, speaks again.
Man: Now, the sadness distribution is Gaussian.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A bespectacled man stands at a chalkboard bearing a square-root equation and explains that his lack of dates follows a 'mean date-free path' formula based on Earth's volume, body cross-sections, and the number of potential mates. A seated dark-haired woman with glasses points out the explanation only works if he assumes he is an ideal gas molecule. He deadpans, 'I'm small and nobody's attracted to me' (the two properties of an ideal gas molecule). She pauses, then says 'Carry on, then.' He replies 'Thank you.' Votey: shown in profile from behind, the man continues lecturing, 'Now, the sadness distribution is Gaussian.' The joke applies physics models of ideal gases and normal distributions to his loneliness.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.