2013-03-09
Original: 2013-03-09 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title banner: HAS YOUR CITY BANNED LARGE CONTAINERS OF SUGARY DRINKS? HERE ARE A FEW HACK SUGGESTIONS
Panel 1 (header: SEPARATE THE INGREDIENTS):
Man behind a counter (clerk), holding a cup: "Here's your carbonated water and frozen syrup cube."
Woman customer (red hair): "I can't WAIT to not combine these!"
Panel 2 (header: SEPARATE THE CONDITIONS):
Clerk (back to viewer, holding a small device): "This is a one ounce soda bottle. We have an industrial strength bottle inflator and a soda fountain. Please use them as you see fit."
Male customer (dark suit, yellow tie): "Indeed I shall, sir."
Panel 3 (header: KLEIN BOTTLE):
Clerk (woman with glasses, holding a roll/tube): "We no longer sell 64 ounce containers. But we [infinity symbol] sell these extra large two-dimensional non-orientable surfaces."
Woman customer (brown hair): "I'll take four."
Votey:
Header: MORE LIKELY
One customer to a clerk: "Can I buy an illegal 32oz soda?"
Clerk: "Sure."
Panel 1 (header: SEPARATE THE INGREDIENTS):
Man behind a counter (clerk), holding a cup: "Here's your carbonated water and frozen syrup cube."
Woman customer (red hair): "I can't WAIT to not combine these!"
Panel 2 (header: SEPARATE THE CONDITIONS):
Clerk (back to viewer, holding a small device): "This is a one ounce soda bottle. We have an industrial strength bottle inflator and a soda fountain. Please use them as you see fit."
Male customer (dark suit, yellow tie): "Indeed I shall, sir."
Panel 3 (header: KLEIN BOTTLE):
Clerk (woman with glasses, holding a roll/tube): "We no longer sell 64 ounce containers. But we [infinity symbol] sell these extra large two-dimensional non-orientable surfaces."
Woman customer (brown hair): "I'll take four."
Votey:
Header: MORE LIKELY
One customer to a clerk: "Can I buy an illegal 32oz soda?"
Clerk: "Sure."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic plus a single-panel votey. Title banner: "Has your city banned large containers of sugary drinks? Here are a few hack suggestions." Panel 1, "Separate the Ingredients": a smiling clerk hands a cup to a red-haired woman, saying "Here's your carbonated water and frozen syrup cube." She replies, "I can't WAIT to not combine these!" Panel 2, "Separate the Conditions": a clerk holds a tiny device and tells a suited man, "This is a one ounce soda bottle. We have an industrial strength bottle inflator and a soda fountain. Please use them as you see fit." The man answers, "Indeed I shall, sir." Panel 3, "Klein Bottle": a bespectacled clerk holds up a roll and says, "We no longer sell 64 ounce containers. But we [infinity] sell these extra large two-dimensional non-orientable surfaces." The customer replies, "I'll take four." The joke: absurd loophole 'hacks' around a soda-size ban, escalating into a math pun (a Klein bottle has no defined volume). Votey, headed "More Likely": two people face off in stark black-and-white; one asks, "Can I buy an illegal 32oz soda?" and the clerk simply says, "Sure" — implying the ban would just be ignored.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.