2013-03-10
Original: 2013-03-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Grampa (an old man with gray hair and a cigarette): OKAY SON, IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!
(A young boy with brown hair in a pink shirt looks on uneasily.)
Panel 2:
Grampa (now wearing white sunglasses): THE BEES HAVE THESE BIG OLD STINGERS. IT'S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT!
Panel 3:
Grampa: THEY ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO STING THE BIRDS!
Panel 4:
Grampa: THE BIRDS ACT LIKE THEY DON'T WANT IT, BUT OHHHH DO THEY WANT IT! THEY WANT IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
Panel 5:
Grampa: BUT THE BEE? THE BEE CAN ONLY GO ONCE, AND HE'S SPENT.
Panel 6:
The boy: GRAMPA, IT'S OKAY. I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT SEX.
Grampa (removing his sunglasses, now wearing regular glasses, looking shocked): WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT SEX?!
Votey:
Grampa (close-up, in sunglasses): NATURE IS 90% PERVERTS.
Grampa (an old man with gray hair and a cigarette): OKAY SON, IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!
(A young boy with brown hair in a pink shirt looks on uneasily.)
Panel 2:
Grampa (now wearing white sunglasses): THE BEES HAVE THESE BIG OLD STINGERS. IT'S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT!
Panel 3:
Grampa: THEY ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO STING THE BIRDS!
Panel 4:
Grampa: THE BIRDS ACT LIKE THEY DON'T WANT IT, BUT OHHHH DO THEY WANT IT! THEY WANT IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
Panel 5:
Grampa: BUT THE BEE? THE BEE CAN ONLY GO ONCE, AND HE'S SPENT.
Panel 6:
The boy: GRAMPA, IT'S OKAY. I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT SEX.
Grampa (removing his sunglasses, now wearing regular glasses, looking shocked): WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT SEX?!
Votey:
Grampa (close-up, in sunglasses): NATURE IS 90% PERVERTS.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. An old man (Grampa) sits his young grandson down and says, "Okay son, it's time to talk about the birds and the bees!" Grampa then puts on white sunglasses and, with mounting intensity over four panels, describes bees as having "big old stingers" that they are "constantly trying to sting the birds" with; says the birds act like they don't want it but secretly "want it over and over and over"; and concludes that "the bee can only go once, and he's spent." In the final panel the boy calmly says, "Grampa, it's okay. I already know about sex," and Grampa, now taking off the sunglasses and looking startled, demands, "Who was talking about sex?!" The joke: Grampa thought he was giving a literal, lurid lecture about insects, not a euphemism. Votey: a close-up of Grampa in his sunglasses deadpanning, "Nature is 90% perverts."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.