2013-03-07
Original: 2013-03-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bald presenter (glasses, suit): "We call it 'SAVEPOINT.'"
Panel 2:
Presenter (standing at a podium): "We implant a network of nine computers in your body. Each computer interfaces directly with your brain, and is encased in synthetic diamond."
Panel 3:
Presenter (close-up, grinning): "They enhance your brain power by 10x AND quickly become seamless with your normal processing mechanism."
Panel 4:
Presenter (arms spread, against a backdrop of buildings/crowd): "If your meat-brain is destroyed or damaged, you continue to function with 90% capacity, thus never experiencing death."
Panel 5:
Presenter: "If your meat-brain is beyond recovery, savepoint notifies us to reacquire the nine computers. While our proprietary dream-in-a-dream software simulates your most pleasant fantasies, we print you out a brand new body."
Panel 6:
An audience member (off-panel, from the crowd): "Do you worry that letting people treat their existence like a video game will lead to wastefulness and chaos and immortality for only the rich?"
(Audience of seated people shown below.)
Panel 7:
Presenter: "Oh that's a bunch of sentimental luddite claptrap. If I can preserve myself for eternity, why not do it?"
Panel 8:
Presenter (adjusting his jacket): "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get home for an appointment."
Votey:
The presenter, smiling, holds a lit stick of dynamite (red, with a burning fuse).
The audience members in the front row have transformed into red, devil-like demon faces.
Bald presenter (glasses, suit): "We call it 'SAVEPOINT.'"
Panel 2:
Presenter (standing at a podium): "We implant a network of nine computers in your body. Each computer interfaces directly with your brain, and is encased in synthetic diamond."
Panel 3:
Presenter (close-up, grinning): "They enhance your brain power by 10x AND quickly become seamless with your normal processing mechanism."
Panel 4:
Presenter (arms spread, against a backdrop of buildings/crowd): "If your meat-brain is destroyed or damaged, you continue to function with 90% capacity, thus never experiencing death."
Panel 5:
Presenter: "If your meat-brain is beyond recovery, savepoint notifies us to reacquire the nine computers. While our proprietary dream-in-a-dream software simulates your most pleasant fantasies, we print you out a brand new body."
Panel 6:
An audience member (off-panel, from the crowd): "Do you worry that letting people treat their existence like a video game will lead to wastefulness and chaos and immortality for only the rich?"
(Audience of seated people shown below.)
Panel 7:
Presenter: "Oh that's a bunch of sentimental luddite claptrap. If I can preserve myself for eternity, why not do it?"
Panel 8:
Presenter (adjusting his jacket): "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get home for an appointment."
Votey:
The presenter, smiling, holds a lit stick of dynamite (red, with a burning fuse).
The audience members in the front row have transformed into red, devil-like demon faces.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A bald, bespectacled presenter in a suit pitches a product called "SAVEPOINT" to an audience. He explains it implants a network of nine diamond-encased computers in your body that interface with your brain, boosting brain power 10x and seamlessly merging with your normal thinking. If your "meat-brain" is destroyed you keep functioning at 90% capacity, never experiencing death; if it's beyond recovery, the company reacquires the computers, runs pleasant-fantasy 'dream-in-a-dream' software, and prints you a brand new body. An audience member asks whether treating existence like a video game will cause wastefulness, chaos, and immortality only for the rich. The presenter dismisses this as "sentimental luddite claptrap" and asks why not preserve himself for eternity, then excuses himself, saying he has to get home for an appointment. Votey (aftercomic): the smiling presenter holds a lit stick of dynamite, and the front-row audience members' faces have turned into red, grinning devil-demons — implying he is selling damnation, or about to detonate, untroubled because he believes he can't truly die.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.