2013-03-12
Original: 2013-03-12 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A superhero in a blue suit and red cape (Superman-like) flies up toward a man standing on the ledge of a tall city building.
Panel 2: The superhero catches the man in mid-air.
Superhero: I've got you!
Man: But I was trying to kill myself!
Panel 3: The superhero holds the man, who now looks thoughtful.
Man: And yet, suddenly I feel like I've got a new lease on life.
Panel 4:
Superhero: Make the most of it, citizen!
Man: I'm gonna do what I always dreamed of and advocate for white supremacy!
Panel 5: The superhero looks startled.
Superhero: What?
Man: That's okay. I think the government should be overthrown and replaced by a dictator of pure genetic stock.
Panel 6:
Superhero: That's not the American way!
Man: You're a fascist racist!
Panel 7: The superhero, looking annoyed, sets the man down.
Man: Oh yeah, bigtime! And now I'm gonna speak up about it!
Panel 8:
Man: You can let me off here.
Superhero: Thanks, Superman!
Panel 9: The superhero (Superman) flies off into the sky.
Panel 10: Caption: LATER.
A woman approaches Superman.
Woman: Superman, help! That man stole my purse!
Superman: What are your political affiliations?
Woman: Why does that matter?
Superman: I'm asking the questions here!
Votey: A close-up of two people facing each other, speaking.
First person (left): I don't vote.
Second person (right): Then I don't help!
Panel 2: The superhero catches the man in mid-air.
Superhero: I've got you!
Man: But I was trying to kill myself!
Panel 3: The superhero holds the man, who now looks thoughtful.
Man: And yet, suddenly I feel like I've got a new lease on life.
Panel 4:
Superhero: Make the most of it, citizen!
Man: I'm gonna do what I always dreamed of and advocate for white supremacy!
Panel 5: The superhero looks startled.
Superhero: What?
Man: That's okay. I think the government should be overthrown and replaced by a dictator of pure genetic stock.
Panel 6:
Superhero: That's not the American way!
Man: You're a fascist racist!
Panel 7: The superhero, looking annoyed, sets the man down.
Man: Oh yeah, bigtime! And now I'm gonna speak up about it!
Panel 8:
Man: You can let me off here.
Superhero: Thanks, Superman!
Panel 9: The superhero (Superman) flies off into the sky.
Panel 10: Caption: LATER.
A woman approaches Superman.
Woman: Superman, help! That man stole my purse!
Superman: What are your political affiliations?
Woman: Why does that matter?
Superman: I'm asking the questions here!
Votey: A close-up of two people facing each other, speaking.
First person (left): I don't vote.
Second person (right): Then I don't help!
Alt text
A colored SMBC comic. A superhero resembling Superman (blue suit, red cape) flies up to catch a man leaping from a tall building. "I've got you!" The man protests, "But I was trying to kill myself!" then, mid-rescue, says he feels a new lease on life. Superman: "Make the most of it, citizen!" The man cheerfully declares he's going to advocate for white supremacy and wants the government overthrown and replaced by a dictator of pure genetic stock. Superman, startled, says "That's not the American way!" The man calls him a "fascist racist" and vows to speak up about it. Superman, irritated, drops him off; the man says "Thanks, Superman!" Superman flies away. Caption: LATER. A woman runs up: "Superman, help! That man stole my purse!" Superman replies, "What are your political affiliations?" When she asks why it matters, he says, "I'm asking the questions here!" The joke: Superman becomes a petty gatekeeper who screens people by ideology before helping. Votey (black-and-white bonus panel): a close-up of two people; one says "I don't vote," and the other snaps back, "Then I don't help!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.