2012-09-19
Original: 2012-09-19 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title caption (top banner): PARENTING TIP: EXISTENTIAL DREAD IS NATURE'S ALL-PURPOSE PUNISHMENT
Panel 1 (single panel):
Child: I DON'T WANNA EAT BROCCOLI.
Father (reading from a tablet): YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF CONCEPTUALIZING YOUR NON-EXISTENCE, SO NO MATTER WHEN IT COMES, DEATH WILL BE UNEXPEC—
Child (interrupting): OKAY! OKAY!
Votey:
A bald, curly-haired figure (the father): CAN'T YOU JUST SPANK?
Off-panel voice: THAT'D BE CRUEL.
Panel 1 (single panel):
Child: I DON'T WANNA EAT BROCCOLI.
Father (reading from a tablet): YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF CONCEPTUALIZING YOUR NON-EXISTENCE, SO NO MATTER WHEN IT COMES, DEATH WILL BE UNEXPEC—
Child (interrupting): OKAY! OKAY!
Votey:
A bald, curly-haired figure (the father): CAN'T YOU JUST SPANK?
Off-panel voice: THAT'D BE CRUEL.
Alt text
An orange banner across the top reads: "PARENTING TIP: EXISTENTIAL DREAD IS NATURE'S ALL-PURPOSE PUNISHMENT." In the single comic panel, a young child in a red shirt sits sullenly at a dinner table with a plate of broccoli in front of them. Beside the child, a father in a yellow shirt holds a tablet and a mug of coffee. The child says, "I don't wanna eat broccoli." The father, reading calmly from the tablet, responds, "You are incapable of conceptualizing your non-existence, so no matter when it comes, death will be unexpec—" The child, eyes wide with distress, cuts him off shouting, "Okay! Okay!"
Votey (small follow-up panel, sketchy black-and-white): The same father, drawn as a curly-haired figure, asks, "Can't you just spank?" An off-panel voice replies, "That'd be cruel."
Votey (small follow-up panel, sketchy black-and-white): The same father, drawn as a curly-haired figure, asks, "Can't you just spank?" An off-panel voice replies, "That'd be cruel."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.