2012-03-04
Original: 2012-03-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (title banner): NORMAL PARENTING
A parent (a man in profile on the right) speaks to a young person (a girl with dark hair and crossed arms): "I'm not sure you're old enough to engage in sexual behavior right now."
Panel 2 (title banner): EFFECTIVE PARENTING
The same parent, smiling, speaks to the same girl, who is now grinning: "Oh! You're gonna have so much fun at prom! What boys really like is to have their testicles treated like the doorknob of a stuck door you're trying to open."
Votey:
A crying woman holds a tissue to her face while a smug police officer in cap and sunglasses leans in close beside her.
A parent (a man in profile on the right) speaks to a young person (a girl with dark hair and crossed arms): "I'm not sure you're old enough to engage in sexual behavior right now."
Panel 2 (title banner): EFFECTIVE PARENTING
The same parent, smiling, speaks to the same girl, who is now grinning: "Oh! You're gonna have so much fun at prom! What boys really like is to have their testicles treated like the doorknob of a stuck door you're trying to open."
Votey:
A crying woman holds a tissue to her face while a smug police officer in cap and sunglasses leans in close beside her.
Alt text
A two-panel SMBC comic contrasting parenting styles. Panel one is labeled NORMAL PARENTING: a parent shown in profile on the right tells a dark-haired girl with her arms crossed, "I'm not sure you're old enough to engage in sexual behavior right now." Panel two is labeled EFFECTIVE PARENTING: the same parent, now smiling, tells the now-grinning girl, "Oh! You're gonna have so much fun at prom! What boys really like is to have their testicles treated like the doorknob of a stuck door you're trying to open." The joke: rather than forbidding sex, the parent deters it by describing a painful, off-putting act as desirable. The votey (bonus panel) is a rough black-and-white drawing of a crying woman dabbing her face with a tissue while a smug police officer in a cap and sunglasses leans in close beside her.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.