2012-03-08
Original: 2012-03-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (Cindy): Oh, sorry... I don't have sex on a first date.
Panel 2:
Man: Look... all of reality is constructed in the brain.
Panel 3:
Man: You may think you have simple sensory mechanisms that perceive things, but you see an apple as red because neurons won't put "blue" wavelengths from the apple into your eyes.
Panel 4:
Man: The only confirmation that reality exists is the shared experiences of human beings in human contexts. If we don't have these experiences, we lose the only tunnel to a belief in objective reality.
Panel 5:
Man: And intimate contact is the greatest form of shared experience. It is the shared experience that combines and multiplies all others.
Panel 6:
Man: Cindy... if we don't have sex on the first date, do we even exist?
Woman (Cindy): Yes.
Panel 7:
Man: A handjob would also confirm reality.
Panel 8:
Man (now standing alone, woman gone, another woman with a drink walking past): And that was when she stopped disturbing my calls.
Votey:
Off-panel figure (the man): Do you think reality ex-
Woman (interrupting): YES.
Woman (Cindy): Oh, sorry... I don't have sex on a first date.
Panel 2:
Man: Look... all of reality is constructed in the brain.
Panel 3:
Man: You may think you have simple sensory mechanisms that perceive things, but you see an apple as red because neurons won't put "blue" wavelengths from the apple into your eyes.
Panel 4:
Man: The only confirmation that reality exists is the shared experiences of human beings in human contexts. If we don't have these experiences, we lose the only tunnel to a belief in objective reality.
Panel 5:
Man: And intimate contact is the greatest form of shared experience. It is the shared experience that combines and multiplies all others.
Panel 6:
Man: Cindy... if we don't have sex on the first date, do we even exist?
Woman (Cindy): Yes.
Panel 7:
Man: A handjob would also confirm reality.
Panel 8:
Man (now standing alone, woman gone, another woman with a drink walking past): And that was when she stopped disturbing my calls.
Votey:
Off-panel figure (the man): Do you think reality ex-
Woman (interrupting): YES.
Alt text
An eight-panel black comic. A man tries an elaborate philosophical pickup line on a woman named Cindy. Panel 1: Cindy tells him, "Oh, sorry... I don't have sex on a first date." Panels 2 through 5: the man delivers a rambling monologue arguing that all reality is constructed in the brain, that the only confirmation reality exists is shared human experience, and that intimate contact is the greatest form of shared experience that combines and multiplies all others. Panel 6: he asks, "Cindy... if we don't have sex on the first date, do we even exist?" and she flatly replies, "Yes." Panel 7: he adds, "A handjob would also confirm reality." Panel 8: the man stands alone as a different woman holding a drink walks past, and he narrates, "And that was when she stopped disturbing my calls." Votey (a single bonus panel): a hand-drawn close-up of a woman in glasses, mouth open, shouting "YES" to cut off a silhouetted figure who has only managed to say "Do you think reality ex-".
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.