2012-01-30
Original: 2012-01-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man in a white shirt brandishing a sword: I am the spirit of science! This is my sword, empiricism!
Panel 2:
The man swings the sword, slashing through unseen things (red splashes appear): I battle the forces of ignorance!
Panel 3:
The man swings again, more red splatter behind him: I conquer the realms of absurdity!
Panel 4:
Still swinging, red splatter around the blade: I slay the spirits of inaccuracy!
Panel 5:
The man (now wearing a white lab coat) looks around, confused: I destroy the — hey... where'd unicorns go?
A man with orange/red hair in a blue shirt: You killed them when you were swinging that thing around.
Panel 6:
The man throws down his sword and falls to his knees, screaming, with a dead pink unicorn and a pool of blood behind him: NOOOOO!
Votey:
A different man with flame-like/spiky hair comforts him: It's okay. Dinosaurs are fine.
The science man: Phew.
The other man: Except brontosaurus.
The science man: NO!
Man in a white shirt brandishing a sword: I am the spirit of science! This is my sword, empiricism!
Panel 2:
The man swings the sword, slashing through unseen things (red splashes appear): I battle the forces of ignorance!
Panel 3:
The man swings again, more red splatter behind him: I conquer the realms of absurdity!
Panel 4:
Still swinging, red splatter around the blade: I slay the spirits of inaccuracy!
Panel 5:
The man (now wearing a white lab coat) looks around, confused: I destroy the — hey... where'd unicorns go?
A man with orange/red hair in a blue shirt: You killed them when you were swinging that thing around.
Panel 6:
The man throws down his sword and falls to his knees, screaming, with a dead pink unicorn and a pool of blood behind him: NOOOOO!
Votey:
A different man with flame-like/spiky hair comforts him: It's okay. Dinosaurs are fine.
The science man: Phew.
The other man: Except brontosaurus.
The science man: NO!
Alt text
A tall vertical SMBC comic in six panels with a purple background. A bald man in a white shirt holds up a sword and declares, 'I am the spirit of science! This is my sword, empiricism!' Over the next panels he swings the blade wildly, leaving red slashes and splatter, shouting 'I battle the forces of ignorance!', 'I conquer the realms of absurdity!', and 'I slay the spirits of inaccuracy!' In the fifth panel, now wearing a lab coat, he stops and looks around puzzled: 'I destroy the — hey... where'd unicorns go?' A red-haired man in a blue shirt replies, 'You killed them when you were swinging that thing around.' In the final panel the science man drops his bloody sword and falls to his knees screaming 'NOOOOO!' beside a dead pink unicorn lying in a pool of blood. Votey: A man with flame-like spiky hair reassures him, 'It's okay. Dinosaurs are fine.' The science man says 'Phew.' The other man adds, 'Except brontosaurus.' The science man screams 'NO!' The joke: science's pursuit of accuracy accidentally destroys beloved things (unicorns, then the brontosaurus, which was reclassified as not a distinct species).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.