2012-02-03
Original: 2012-02-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): The aliens needed a gripping area near human mouths to begin their invasion.
[A row of green, big-lipped alien faces.]
Panel 2 (caption): It had to be the right shape and size, and be worn by over five percent of the humans.
[A green alien hand pressing/placing a red rectangular object.]
Panel 3 (caption): So he was sent back in time.
[A man in a green shirt stands flanked by two scientists in white lab coats.]
Panel 4 (caption): Back in time, to make sure no human mouth would wear the shape when the aliens arrived.
[A glowing white human silhouette against a dark, rainy/starry background.]
Panel 5 (caption): History will loathe him.
[Close-up of a pair of eyes on a yellowish face.]
Panel 6 (caption): But he saved us. He saved our future.
[A figure (the man) gesturing upward with a raised hand against a crowd/dark background.]
Panel 7 (caption): Epilogue: In the political science department.
Man (lecturing): Okay, but I bet you five guys could nobody can think up a good spin for Hitler?
[A lecturer gestures to a small audience of seated students.]
Votey:
[A woman speaking to a seated man at a desk.]
Woman: Your mom called. She wants to talk about the Hitler joke.
Man: Tell her it was a guest comic by some other Zach Weiner.
[A row of green, big-lipped alien faces.]
Panel 2 (caption): It had to be the right shape and size, and be worn by over five percent of the humans.
[A green alien hand pressing/placing a red rectangular object.]
Panel 3 (caption): So he was sent back in time.
[A man in a green shirt stands flanked by two scientists in white lab coats.]
Panel 4 (caption): Back in time, to make sure no human mouth would wear the shape when the aliens arrived.
[A glowing white human silhouette against a dark, rainy/starry background.]
Panel 5 (caption): History will loathe him.
[Close-up of a pair of eyes on a yellowish face.]
Panel 6 (caption): But he saved us. He saved our future.
[A figure (the man) gesturing upward with a raised hand against a crowd/dark background.]
Panel 7 (caption): Epilogue: In the political science department.
Man (lecturing): Okay, but I bet you five guys could nobody can think up a good spin for Hitler?
[A lecturer gestures to a small audience of seated students.]
Votey:
[A woman speaking to a seated man at a desk.]
Woman: Your mom called. She wants to talk about the Hitler joke.
Man: Tell her it was a guest comic by some other Zach Weiner.
Alt text
A tall black-and-white-and-color comic told as a deadpan sci-fi origin story. Panel 1: a row of green, thick-lipped alien faces; caption: "The aliens needed a gripping area near human mouths to begin their invasion." Panel 2: a green alien hand placing a red rectangular object; caption: "It had to be the right shape and size, and be worn by over five percent of the humans." Panel 3: a man in a green shirt stands between two scientists in lab coats; caption: "So he was sent back in time." Panel 4: a glowing white human silhouette against a dark background; caption: "Back in time, to make sure no human mouth would wear the shape when the aliens arrived." Panel 5: an extreme close-up of grim eyes on a yellow face; caption: "History will loathe him." Panel 6: the man stands with a raised hand before a crowd; caption: "But he saved us. He saved our future." Final panel, an epilogue captioned "In the political science department," shows a lecturer addressing students, saying: "Okay, but I bet you nobody can think up a good spin for Hitler?" The joke: the time-traveling hero is reframed as Hitler, whose real "mission" was preventing humanity from wearing the toothbrush-mustache shape the aliens needed. Votey panel: a woman tells a seated man, "Your mom called. She wants to talk about the Hitler joke," and he replies, "Tell her it was a guest comic by some other Zach Weiner" — the cartoonist disavowing the strip to his own mother.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.