2012-01-28
Original: 2012-01-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (dark hair, at a bar): Hi-hi. I uh, can I buy you a drink?
Woman (red hair): Oh, uh, no thanks. I'm actually here with someone.
Panel 2:
Man: Sure! Sure!
Panel 3:
Man (narrating/internal): That wasn't so bad. It was just a friendly interaction, and there were no bad feelings. Or... OH MY GOD MY HANDS.
Panel 4:
Man: WHAT THE HELL?!
Panel 5:
A doctor (in a lab coat): I'm a doctor. You've got rejection bacteria. Why did you ask her out?!
Man: People said it would be fine!
Doctor: People LIED.
Panel 6:
Doctor: Why don't you focus on your manga collection and your video game skills?!
Man: I was a fool. I sold my perfect life for the hope of carnal pleasure.
Panel 7:
Man (skull-faced, deteriorating): AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!
Panel 8:
Woman (red hair, to a companion): Why don't you ask him out?
Female companion (dark hair): He's not my type.
Votey:
The red-haired woman, soaking wet and rising up out of water, head thrown back: I HAVE RETURNED!
Man (dark hair, at a bar): Hi-hi. I uh, can I buy you a drink?
Woman (red hair): Oh, uh, no thanks. I'm actually here with someone.
Panel 2:
Man: Sure! Sure!
Panel 3:
Man (narrating/internal): That wasn't so bad. It was just a friendly interaction, and there were no bad feelings. Or... OH MY GOD MY HANDS.
Panel 4:
Man: WHAT THE HELL?!
Panel 5:
A doctor (in a lab coat): I'm a doctor. You've got rejection bacteria. Why did you ask her out?!
Man: People said it would be fine!
Doctor: People LIED.
Panel 6:
Doctor: Why don't you focus on your manga collection and your video game skills?!
Man: I was a fool. I sold my perfect life for the hope of carnal pleasure.
Panel 7:
Man (skull-faced, deteriorating): AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!
Panel 8:
Woman (red hair, to a companion): Why don't you ask him out?
Female companion (dark hair): He's not my type.
Votey:
The red-haired woman, soaking wet and rising up out of water, head thrown back: I HAVE RETURNED!
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A nervous dark-haired man at a bar asks a red-haired woman, "Hi-hi. I uh, can I buy you a drink?" She declines, saying she's there with someone, and he stammers "Sure! Sure!" He reassures himself that it was a harmless friendly interaction with no bad feelings, then suddenly screams "OH MY GOD MY HANDS" and "WHAT THE HELL?!" as his hands begin to rot. A doctor in a lab coat appears and tells him he has "rejection bacteria" and scolds him for asking her out; the man protests that people said it would be fine, and the doctor replies "People LIED." The doctor suggests he should have stuck to his manga collection and video game skills, and the man laments selling his perfect life for the hope of carnal pleasure. He decays into a screaming skull-faced figure shrieking "AAAH!" Meanwhile, the red-haired woman casually asks her dark-haired female companion why she doesn't ask him out, and the companion says "He's not my type." The joke: a polite rejection is treated as a literal fatal disease. Votey: the red-haired woman dramatically bursts up out of a body of water, soaking wet with her head thrown back, declaring "I HAVE RETURNED!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.