2012-02-10
Original: 2012-02-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Grace Hopper: Hi. I'm Grace Hopper, 1906-1992.
Panel 2
Grace Hopper: You may never have heard of me, but I was a computer scientist and a rear admiral.
Panel 3
Grace Hopper: I helped build the Mark 1 during World War 2.
Panel 4
Grace Hopper: I wrote the first compiler.
Panel 5
Grace Hopper: And the group I headed created flow-matic, the precursor to COBOL.
Panel 6
Grace Hopper: You may not know me, but you should fear me.
Panel 7
Grace Hopper: You see, whenever someone says "women can't program," I grow more powerful.
Panel 8
Grace Hopper: I can no longer compute computer scientists with bad socio-sexual normative speed patterns. Yes! Yesss! Perhaps you've already felt my touch.
Panel 9 (a dark, demonic silhouette forms)
Grace Hopper: If I grow much more powerful, I will take physical form.
Panel 10
Grace Hopper (now a glowing-eyed demonic figure): If I grow much more powerful, I will take physical form and my wrath will be without bound! Hahahaha! Hahahaha!
Panel 11
Grace Hopper: Awahaha hahaha hahaha haha hahaha!
Panel 12
Grace Hopper: Hahaha hahaha haha!
Panel 13 (two men sit on a couch; a fiery demonic shape looms beside them)
Man on couch: Wait! She do in physical form?
Grace Hopper (demon): She will remove all the comments on someone else's code just before it's handed to you for debugging! Ahahaha hahahaha!
Panel 14 (three men, looking worried)
One of the men: We'll be good!
Votey:
A pair of black, red-rimmed angry-looking eyes with red pupils and raised eyebrows.
Grace Hopper: Hi. I'm Grace Hopper, 1906-1992.
Panel 2
Grace Hopper: You may never have heard of me, but I was a computer scientist and a rear admiral.
Panel 3
Grace Hopper: I helped build the Mark 1 during World War 2.
Panel 4
Grace Hopper: I wrote the first compiler.
Panel 5
Grace Hopper: And the group I headed created flow-matic, the precursor to COBOL.
Panel 6
Grace Hopper: You may not know me, but you should fear me.
Panel 7
Grace Hopper: You see, whenever someone says "women can't program," I grow more powerful.
Panel 8
Grace Hopper: I can no longer compute computer scientists with bad socio-sexual normative speed patterns. Yes! Yesss! Perhaps you've already felt my touch.
Panel 9 (a dark, demonic silhouette forms)
Grace Hopper: If I grow much more powerful, I will take physical form.
Panel 10
Grace Hopper (now a glowing-eyed demonic figure): If I grow much more powerful, I will take physical form and my wrath will be without bound! Hahahaha! Hahahaha!
Panel 11
Grace Hopper: Awahaha hahaha hahaha haha hahaha!
Panel 12
Grace Hopper: Hahaha hahaha haha!
Panel 13 (two men sit on a couch; a fiery demonic shape looms beside them)
Man on couch: Wait! She do in physical form?
Grace Hopper (demon): She will remove all the comments on someone else's code just before it's handed to you for debugging! Ahahaha hahahaha!
Panel 14 (three men, looking worried)
One of the men: We'll be good!
Votey:
A pair of black, red-rimmed angry-looking eyes with red pupils and raised eyebrows.
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. A woman with glasses and a dark jacket introduces herself: "Hi. I'm Grace Hopper, 1906-1992." She explains over several panels that she was a computer scientist and rear admiral who helped build the Mark 1 during World War 2, wrote the first compiler, and led the group that created flow-matic, the precursor to COBOL. She says people should fear her, because whenever someone says "women can't program," she grows more powerful and can destroy computer scientists with bad socio-sexual norms. As she speaks she transforms into a demonic figure with glowing eyes, laughing maniacally and threatening that if she grows powerful enough she will take physical form with unbounded wrath. In the lower panels, two men sit on a couch as a fiery demonic shape looms; one asks what she would do in physical form, and she cackles that she will remove all the comments from someone else's code right before it is handed to you for debugging. In the final panel, three worried-looking men declare, "We'll be good!" Votey: a pair of black, red-outlined angry eyes with red pupils and raised eyebrows.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.