2012-02-08
Original: 2012-02-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: HOW TO TALK ABOUT THE ECONOMY: A GUIDE FOR ELECTED OFFICIALS
[A flowchart.]
Start box: "DID YOU SAY IT WAS GOOD?"
- yes -> "DID IT TURN OUT TO BE GOOD?"
- yes -> "YOU ARE FORGOTTEN AMID THE BULL MARKET" (loops back)
- no -> "YOU ARE A NAIVE IMBECILE." (loops back)
- no -> "DID YOU SAY IT WAS BAD?"
- yes -> "DID IT TURN OUT TO BE BAD?"
- yes -> "YOU SIR, ARE A PROPHET"
- no -> (loops back to FORGOTTEN AMID THE BULL MARKET)
- no -> "YOU SAID 'I DON'T KNOW?!'"
- yes -> "AND YOU EXPECT TO GET ELECTED?" -> "...y-yes?"
Second title: HOW TO TALK ABOUT THE ECONOMY: A GUIDE FOR MEDIA PERSONALITIES
[A simple loop flowchart.]
Single box: "MAKE PREDICTION ON MARKET TREND, WAIT UNTIL TRUE, PRAISE SELF." (an arrow loops out and back into the same box, repeating forever)
Votey:
[A small flowchart.]
Start box: "DO SARCASTIC FLOWCHARTS CHANGE THE WORLD?"
- yes -> "WRONG" (loops back)
- no -> "CRY" (loops back)
[A flowchart.]
Start box: "DID YOU SAY IT WAS GOOD?"
- yes -> "DID IT TURN OUT TO BE GOOD?"
- yes -> "YOU ARE FORGOTTEN AMID THE BULL MARKET" (loops back)
- no -> "YOU ARE A NAIVE IMBECILE." (loops back)
- no -> "DID YOU SAY IT WAS BAD?"
- yes -> "DID IT TURN OUT TO BE BAD?"
- yes -> "YOU SIR, ARE A PROPHET"
- no -> (loops back to FORGOTTEN AMID THE BULL MARKET)
- no -> "YOU SAID 'I DON'T KNOW?!'"
- yes -> "AND YOU EXPECT TO GET ELECTED?" -> "...y-yes?"
Second title: HOW TO TALK ABOUT THE ECONOMY: A GUIDE FOR MEDIA PERSONALITIES
[A simple loop flowchart.]
Single box: "MAKE PREDICTION ON MARKET TREND, WAIT UNTIL TRUE, PRAISE SELF." (an arrow loops out and back into the same box, repeating forever)
Votey:
[A small flowchart.]
Start box: "DO SARCASTIC FLOWCHARTS CHANGE THE WORLD?"
- yes -> "WRONG" (loops back)
- no -> "CRY" (loops back)
Alt text
A two-part hand-drawn comic of flowcharts. The first is titled 'How to talk about the economy: a guide for elected officials.' It starts at 'Did you say it was good?' Following 'yes' leads to 'Did it turn out to be good?', where 'yes' gives 'You are forgotten amid the bull market' and 'no' gives 'You are a naive imbecile' (both loop back). Following 'no' leads to 'Did you say it was bad?'; 'yes' goes to 'Did it turn out to be bad?' where 'yes' gives 'You sir, are a prophet' and 'no' loops back; 'no' goes to 'You said I don't know?!' which leads to 'And you expect to get elected?' and a meek reply '...y-yes?'. The joke: officials are praised only if their confident claims happen to come true, and admitting uncertainty is treated as disqualifying. The second flowchart, 'A guide for media personalities,' is a single box that loops endlessly to itself: 'Make prediction on market trend, wait until true, praise self.' The votey is a small flowchart: 'Do sarcastic flowcharts change the world?' with 'yes' leading to 'WRONG' and 'no' leading to 'CRY', both looping back, mocking the comic's own format.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.