2012-02-13
Original: 2012-02-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (balding, glasses): I took fly DNA and spliced it into my own in order to gain their powers.
Panel 2:
Woman (blonde): No!
Panel 3:
Man: Then something went horribly wrong.
Woman: No!
Panel 4:
Man: After several days, I noticed something strange.
Woman: No!
Panel 5:
Man: My body did not mutate at all.
Woman: Nooooo... wait. What?
Panel 6:
Man: Then I realized—the human body has no way to activate the fly gene sequence.
Woman: No?
Panel 7:
Man: So... the fly DNA just became part of the junk DNA in my genome. The human proteome is purely uninteresting. So I don't have a good way to accomplish the post-splice activation phase.
Panel 8:
Woman: So how come you run around the house buzzing and spitting on food?!
Man: Oh...
Panel 9:
Man: Oh, I did that before we started dating.
Woman: (glaring)
Panel 10:
Woman: You've never dated any other nerds, have you?
Man (sweating): I can't believe I slept with you. Bzz! Zzz!
Votey:
Woman: I didn't take birth control because I thought you weren't human.
Man: Bzz?
Man (balding, glasses): I took fly DNA and spliced it into my own in order to gain their powers.
Panel 2:
Woman (blonde): No!
Panel 3:
Man: Then something went horribly wrong.
Woman: No!
Panel 4:
Man: After several days, I noticed something strange.
Woman: No!
Panel 5:
Man: My body did not mutate at all.
Woman: Nooooo... wait. What?
Panel 6:
Man: Then I realized—the human body has no way to activate the fly gene sequence.
Woman: No?
Panel 7:
Man: So... the fly DNA just became part of the junk DNA in my genome. The human proteome is purely uninteresting. So I don't have a good way to accomplish the post-splice activation phase.
Panel 8:
Woman: So how come you run around the house buzzing and spitting on food?!
Man: Oh...
Panel 9:
Man: Oh, I did that before we started dating.
Woman: (glaring)
Panel 10:
Woman: You've never dated any other nerds, have you?
Man (sweating): I can't believe I slept with you. Bzz! Zzz!
Votey:
Woman: I didn't take birth control because I thought you weren't human.
Man: Bzz?
Alt text
A two-character argument comic. A balding man in glasses explains to a blonde woman that he spliced fly DNA into his own to gain fly powers, and that something went horribly wrong—the woman keeps exclaiming 'No!' in alarm. He then reveals that, after several days, his body did not mutate at all, because the human body has no way to activate the fly gene sequence; the fly DNA just became junk DNA. The woman, confused then angry, demands to know why he runs around the house buzzing and spitting on food. He sheepishly admits, 'Oh, I did that before we started dating.' She glares and asks if he's ever dated any other nerds. He sweats and says, 'I can't believe I slept with you. Bzz! Zzz!' Votey: a single black-and-white panel where the woman says, 'I didn't take birth control because I thought you weren't human,' and the man replies, 'Bzz?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.