2011-05-04
Original: 2011-05-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (sitting at a table, looking glum): "Hmm... I don't have anything to make dinner with, but I do have four boxes of Twinkies... BRAIN PARLIAMENT, ASSEMBLE!"
Panel 2:
Man: "Okay, logic votes nay, discretion votes nay, stomach votes aye, inner child votes aye, foresight votes aye... wait... foresight votes aye? Foresight usually votes with logic."
Panel 3:
Man: "3-2, buddy. Parliament has spoken."
Man (gesturing, agitated): "What did you do with foresight?! Huh?! Where's the rest of parliament? Where's common sense? Where's pride?!"
Panel 4:
Man: "I guess they aren't showing up."
Man (clutching his chest): "Give them back, you bastard!"
Panel 5:
Man: "You will do what I say or I will dissolve this parliament!"
Man: "But I'm the ego. I have veto power."
Panel 6:
Man: "You don't have the nerve."
(The man looks distraught.)
Panel 7:
LATER...
A woman appears in a doorway.
Woman: "Honey, why are you crying while forcefeeding yourself Twinkies?"
Man (eating Twinkies, in tears): "Politics."
Votey:
A caption box reads:
"ALTERNATE PUNCHLINES:
'COUP DE GUT'
'VISCEREVOLUTION'
'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID'"
Man (sitting at a table, looking glum): "Hmm... I don't have anything to make dinner with, but I do have four boxes of Twinkies... BRAIN PARLIAMENT, ASSEMBLE!"
Panel 2:
Man: "Okay, logic votes nay, discretion votes nay, stomach votes aye, inner child votes aye, foresight votes aye... wait... foresight votes aye? Foresight usually votes with logic."
Panel 3:
Man: "3-2, buddy. Parliament has spoken."
Man (gesturing, agitated): "What did you do with foresight?! Huh?! Where's the rest of parliament? Where's common sense? Where's pride?!"
Panel 4:
Man: "I guess they aren't showing up."
Man (clutching his chest): "Give them back, you bastard!"
Panel 5:
Man: "You will do what I say or I will dissolve this parliament!"
Man: "But I'm the ego. I have veto power."
Panel 6:
Man: "You don't have the nerve."
(The man looks distraught.)
Panel 7:
LATER...
A woman appears in a doorway.
Woman: "Honey, why are you crying while forcefeeding yourself Twinkies?"
Man (eating Twinkies, in tears): "Politics."
Votey:
A caption box reads:
"ALTERNATE PUNCHLINES:
'COUP DE GUT'
'VISCEREVOLUTION'
'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID'"
Alt text
A vertical seven-panel comic of a man arguing with the factions of his own mind, drawn as a 'brain parliament.' Sitting glumly at a table, he says he has nothing to make dinner with but four boxes of Twinkies, and declares 'Brain parliament, assemble!' He tallies an internal vote: logic and discretion vote nay, while stomach, inner child, and foresight vote aye. He's suspicious because foresight usually sides with logic, but rules '3-2, buddy. Parliament has spoken.' He then panics, demanding to know what happened to foresight, common sense, and pride, accusing himself of a hostile takeover and shouting 'Give them back, you bastard!' He threatens to 'dissolve this parliament,' but the ego claims veto power; the other voice taunts 'You don't have the nerve,' leaving him distraught. In the final panel, labeled 'LATER...,' a woman enters and asks why he's crying while forcefeeding himself Twinkies. Eating and in tears, he answers: 'Politics.' The votey is a single caption box listing 'ALTERNATE PUNCHLINES: "Coup de gut," "Viscerevolution," "That's what she said."'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.