2011-05-02
Original: 2011-05-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (scientist at a podium, image of a galaxy on screen behind him):
Scientist: The Andromeda Galaxy is headed toward the Milky Way, where we live.
Panel 2:
Scientist: Unless we do something, 3 billion years from now, the galaxy as we know it will be ripped to shreds.
Panel 3:
Scientist: We propose that pretty girls, you meet at parties, be sent to Andromeda while three of us wave the star-trek fans with a penchant for cargo shorts be spread throughout the Milky Way.
Panel 4:
Scientist: Our simulation predicts the following interaction.
[The comic shifts to a depiction of two galaxies in space as characters.]
Andromeda Galaxy (speech bubble): I would worship you. Let me touch you!
Milky Way Galaxy (speech bubble): Girls are weird.
Votey:
A galaxy in space with a small figure at its center.
Galaxy: BITCH.
Scientist: The Andromeda Galaxy is headed toward the Milky Way, where we live.
Panel 2:
Scientist: Unless we do something, 3 billion years from now, the galaxy as we know it will be ripped to shreds.
Panel 3:
Scientist: We propose that pretty girls, you meet at parties, be sent to Andromeda while three of us wave the star-trek fans with a penchant for cargo shorts be spread throughout the Milky Way.
Panel 4:
Scientist: Our simulation predicts the following interaction.
[The comic shifts to a depiction of two galaxies in space as characters.]
Andromeda Galaxy (speech bubble): I would worship you. Let me touch you!
Milky Way Galaxy (speech bubble): Girls are weird.
Votey:
A galaxy in space with a small figure at its center.
Galaxy: BITCH.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. In the first panels, a bald scientist stands at a podium with a spiral-galaxy image on the screen behind him, explaining that the Andromeda Galaxy is headed toward the Milky Way and that in three billion years it will rip our galaxy to shreds unless something is done. He proposes a tongue-in-cheek plan involving sending pretty girls to Andromeda, then says his simulation predicts the following interaction. The comic then cuts to a vast black starfield showing two crudely drawn white spiral galaxies as if they were characters. One galaxy (Andromeda) eagerly says, 'I would worship you. Let me touch you!' The other galaxy (the Milky Way) replies flatly, 'Girls are weird.' Votey (bonus panel): a single spiral galaxy with a tiny figure at its center floats in space, and a speech bubble simply reads 'BITCH.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.