2011-04-30
Original: 2011-04-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (graph, Figure 1):
Graph titled with axis labels. Y-axis: DIFFICULTY OF BEARD REMOVAL. X-axis: BEARD LENGTH, marked 1mm, 10mm, 10^2 mm, 10^3 mm, 10^4 mm. A blue curve rises sharply (S-curve) and plateaus at a high level as beard length increases.
Panel 2:
A bearded man holding an electric razor sits facing a woman (seen from behind/side). The man says: "I'M SORRY. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO SHAVE ANY MORE. SEE FIGURE 2."
Panel 3 (graph, Figure 2):
Y-axis: DESIRE TO SHAVE. X-axis: BEARD LENGTH, marked 1mm, 10mm, 10^2 mm, 10^3 mm, 10^4 mm. A red curve shows a single sharp spike at a short beard length, then drops back to near zero.
Panel 4:
The bearded man, clenched fist, says: "I ACCIDENTALLY PASSED THROUGH THE 'ITCHY PEAK' WHILE YOU WERE AWAY..."
Panel 5:
The man, with the woman's silhouette behind him: "NOW IT'S TOO LATE."
Panel 6:
The man speaks to the woman (in a green top): "SOME THINGS IN LIFE CAN'T BE UNDONE. THIS IS AMONG THEM. I'M SORRY, MY LOVE... YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY FACE AGAIN."
The woman replies: "OR I COULD LEAVE YOU."
Panel 7:
The man stands at a bathroom sink looking at his reflection in the mirror. His reflection says: "LOVE IS BULLSHIT."
Votey:
Close-up of a man's face in a hat, smirking with his eyes closed. Caption: "OSTENTATIOUSLY GOOD BEHAVIOR!"
Graph titled with axis labels. Y-axis: DIFFICULTY OF BEARD REMOVAL. X-axis: BEARD LENGTH, marked 1mm, 10mm, 10^2 mm, 10^3 mm, 10^4 mm. A blue curve rises sharply (S-curve) and plateaus at a high level as beard length increases.
Panel 2:
A bearded man holding an electric razor sits facing a woman (seen from behind/side). The man says: "I'M SORRY. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO SHAVE ANY MORE. SEE FIGURE 2."
Panel 3 (graph, Figure 2):
Y-axis: DESIRE TO SHAVE. X-axis: BEARD LENGTH, marked 1mm, 10mm, 10^2 mm, 10^3 mm, 10^4 mm. A red curve shows a single sharp spike at a short beard length, then drops back to near zero.
Panel 4:
The bearded man, clenched fist, says: "I ACCIDENTALLY PASSED THROUGH THE 'ITCHY PEAK' WHILE YOU WERE AWAY..."
Panel 5:
The man, with the woman's silhouette behind him: "NOW IT'S TOO LATE."
Panel 6:
The man speaks to the woman (in a green top): "SOME THINGS IN LIFE CAN'T BE UNDONE. THIS IS AMONG THEM. I'M SORRY, MY LOVE... YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY FACE AGAIN."
The woman replies: "OR I COULD LEAVE YOU."
Panel 7:
The man stands at a bathroom sink looking at his reflection in the mirror. His reflection says: "LOVE IS BULLSHIT."
Votey:
Close-up of a man's face in a hat, smirking with his eyes closed. Caption: "OSTENTATIOUSLY GOOD BEHAVIOR!"
Alt text
A SMBC comic. Panel 1 is a graph (Figure 1): the y-axis is 'Difficulty of beard removal,' the x-axis is 'Beard length' (1mm to 10^4 mm); a blue S-curve rises steeply then plateaus high, meaning long beards are very hard to remove. Panel 2: a bearded man holding an electric razor tells a woman, 'I'm sorry. It doesn't make sense to shave any more. See figure 2.' Panel 3 is a second graph (Figure 2): y-axis 'Desire to shave,' x-axis 'Beard length'; a red curve spikes sharply once at short length then falls to nearly zero. Panel 4: the man, fist clenched, says 'I accidentally passed through the "itchy peak" while you were away...' Panel 5: with the woman's silhouette behind him he adds 'Now it's too late.' Panel 6: he tells her, 'Some things in life can't be undone. This is among them. I'm sorry, my love... you will never see my face again.' She flatly replies, 'Or I could leave you.' Panel 7: he stands at a sink, and his reflection in the mirror says, 'Love is bullshit.' Votey: a close-up of a smirking man in a hat with eyes closed, captioned 'Ostentatiously good behavior!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.