2011-03-28
Original: 2011-03-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mugger (a person in a ski mask and hood, holding a knife): "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY OR I'LL KILL YOU!"
Woman (with long hair): "TAKE MY PURSE! TAKE IT!"
Panel 2:
The mugger pulls money out of the purse.
Mugger: "OH, WOW. THERE'S A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET IN HERE. I'M RICH!"
Panel 3:
Caption banner: "SOON..."
The mugger, now wealthy, sits in an armchair in a richly furnished study (bookshelves, wine bottle on a side table), wearing a tuxedo but still wearing the ski mask, reading a newspaper.
Mugger: "I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT CONTRIBUTING. IT'S TIME TO TURN TOWARD PHILANTHROPY!"
Panel 4:
The mugger, back in hood and ski mask, now holds out money toward a frightened man in a sweater vest.
Mugger: "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY OR I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL THE SHAME OF PRIVILEGE!"
Votey:
A close-up of a distressed face (the woman from panel 1), mouth open in anguish.
Woman: "NOOOOOOOOO!"
Mugger (a person in a ski mask and hood, holding a knife): "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY OR I'LL KILL YOU!"
Woman (with long hair): "TAKE MY PURSE! TAKE IT!"
Panel 2:
The mugger pulls money out of the purse.
Mugger: "OH, WOW. THERE'S A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET IN HERE. I'M RICH!"
Panel 3:
Caption banner: "SOON..."
The mugger, now wealthy, sits in an armchair in a richly furnished study (bookshelves, wine bottle on a side table), wearing a tuxedo but still wearing the ski mask, reading a newspaper.
Mugger: "I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT CONTRIBUTING. IT'S TIME TO TURN TOWARD PHILANTHROPY!"
Panel 4:
The mugger, back in hood and ski mask, now holds out money toward a frightened man in a sweater vest.
Mugger: "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY OR I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL THE SHAME OF PRIVILEGE!"
Votey:
A close-up of a distressed face (the woman from panel 1), mouth open in anguish.
Woman: "NOOOOOOOOO!"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A mugger in a hood and blue ski mask holds a knife and demands, "Gimme all your money or I'll kill you!" A long-haired woman thrusts her purse forward, crying, "Take my purse! Take it!" Panel 2: The mugger pulls cash from the purse and says, "Oh, wow. There's a winning lottery ticket in here. I'm rich!" Panel 3: A banner reads "Soon..." The mugger, now wealthy, lounges in a tuxedo (still wearing the ski mask) in a lavish study and muses, "I feel like I'm not contributing. It's time to turn toward philanthropy!" Panel 4: Back in his hood and mask, he now holds out money toward a terrified man in a sweater vest, demanding, "Gimme all your money or I'll make you feel the shame of privilege!" The joke: his philanthropy is just reverse mugging, forcing money on people by threatening guilt instead of violence. Votey: A close-up of the woman's anguished face, mouth wide open, wailing, "Noooooooo!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.