2011-03-29
Original: 2011-03-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (header: WHAT YOU HEAR.):
A worried news anchor in a suit and red tie sits at a desk holding papers. An on-screen graphic shows a glowing flask.
News anchor (speech bubble): "China may soon overtake the United States in scientific output."
On-screen graphic caption: RED THREAT?
Panel 2 (header: WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.):
A line graph. Y-axis label: "Absolute number of papers per year." X-axis label: "Time."
A blue line labeled USA rises steadily.
A red line labeled CHINA starts low and curves up sharply at the end, still below the USA line.
Panel 3 (header: HOW I DECIDED TO PROVE A POINT.):
A man with red/orange hair, viewed from behind, sits at a computer monitor.
Computer screen text:
run papergenerator.exe
paper 1: Proof of the equivalence of 2+2 and 4
paper 2: Proof of the equivalence of 2+3 and 5
paper 3: Proof of the equivalence of 2+4 and 6
paper 4: Proof of the equivalence of 2+5 and 7
Panel 4 (header: HOW THINGS WENT AWRY.):
The same news anchor from panel 1, now looking annoyed. The on-screen graphic shows the red-haired man.
News anchor (speech bubble): "Zach Weiner has overtaken the United States in scientific output. This year alone, Weiner may produce up to INFINITY PAPERS!"
On-screen graphic caption: RED THREAT?
Votey:
Submitted for your approval:
The look of scientifically literate disapproval.
Ψ♂_♂Ψ
(Note the hands raised in resignation).
A worried news anchor in a suit and red tie sits at a desk holding papers. An on-screen graphic shows a glowing flask.
News anchor (speech bubble): "China may soon overtake the United States in scientific output."
On-screen graphic caption: RED THREAT?
Panel 2 (header: WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.):
A line graph. Y-axis label: "Absolute number of papers per year." X-axis label: "Time."
A blue line labeled USA rises steadily.
A red line labeled CHINA starts low and curves up sharply at the end, still below the USA line.
Panel 3 (header: HOW I DECIDED TO PROVE A POINT.):
A man with red/orange hair, viewed from behind, sits at a computer monitor.
Computer screen text:
run papergenerator.exe
paper 1: Proof of the equivalence of 2+2 and 4
paper 2: Proof of the equivalence of 2+3 and 5
paper 3: Proof of the equivalence of 2+4 and 6
paper 4: Proof of the equivalence of 2+5 and 7
Panel 4 (header: HOW THINGS WENT AWRY.):
The same news anchor from panel 1, now looking annoyed. The on-screen graphic shows the red-haired man.
News anchor (speech bubble): "Zach Weiner has overtaken the United States in scientific output. This year alone, Weiner may produce up to INFINITY PAPERS!"
On-screen graphic caption: RED THREAT?
Votey:
Submitted for your approval:
The look of scientifically literate disapproval.
Ψ♂_♂Ψ
(Note the hands raised in resignation).
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic about media fearmongering over China's scientific output. Panel 1, labeled 'WHAT YOU HEAR,' shows a worried TV news anchor in a suit saying 'China may soon overtake the United States in scientific output,' with an on-screen graphic of a glowing flask captioned 'RED THREAT?' Panel 2, labeled 'WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING,' shows a line graph titled 'Absolute number of papers per year' over 'Time': a blue USA line rises steadily and stays on top, while a red CHINA line starts very low and only curves up sharply near the end, still beneath the USA line. Panel 3, labeled 'HOW I DECIDED TO PROVE A POINT,' shows a red-haired man at a computer running 'papergenerator.exe,' which spits out endless trivial papers: 'Proof of the equivalence of 2+2 and 4,' '2+3 and 5,' '2+4 and 6,' '2+5 and 7,' and so on. Panel 4, labeled 'HOW THINGS WENT AWRY,' shows the same news anchor, now irritated, announcing 'Zach Weiner has overtaken the United States in scientific output. This year alone, Weiner may produce up to INFINITY PAPERS!' with the red-haired man now in the 'RED THREAT?' graphic. The joke mocks how raw paper counts are a meaningless measure of scientific progress and how easily media frames them as a threat. Votey: text reading 'Submitted for your approval: The look of scientifically literate disapproval,' followed by a text-art face with raised hands 'Ψ♂_♂Ψ' and the note '(Note the hands raised in resignation).'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.