2009-03-02
Original: 2009-03-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: TALKING ECONOMICS: A GUIDE
Step 1: INFORM EACH OTHER OF YOUR CREDENTIALS
Woman (blonde, green top): "I took the first six weeks of an economics course in college."
Man (dark suit): "I listen to a LOT of talk radio."
Step 2: STATE YOUR OPPOSING VIEWS
Woman: "I believe in a constitutional republic with slightly MORE government intervention."
Man: "Well, I believe in a constitutional republic with slightly LESS government intervention."
(Next panel: the two point angrily at each other.)
Step 3: REMEMBER, HYPERBOLE IS A FORM OF LOGIC
Woman: "Well, why don't we just let gorillas eat everyone's babies?!"
Man: "Anything to spare them from your tax ideas!"
Step 4: AVOID FACTS AT ANY COST
A third person (blond): "Can either of you cite any sources for your claims?"
Man: "I'm not a walking encyclopedia!"
Step 5: AGREE ON IMPORTANT POINTS
Woman and man shake hands, smiling.
Woman: "I hope you die."
Step 6: NOTIFY CONGRESS OF YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS
(The woman and man are each on a telephone, faces contorted in rage, a lightning bolt between them. No dialogue text.)
Step 7: WATCH THE SYSTEM WORK
A woman (politician): "Two of my constituents want something about gorillas eating babies. Can I get that attached to the new education bill?"
A man (politician, pointing finger): "Me too!"
A second man: "I'd vote for that!"
An older man with glasses listens.
Votey:
A gorilla stands beside a smiling man.
Man: "I'm starting to wish I voted more often."
Step 1: INFORM EACH OTHER OF YOUR CREDENTIALS
Woman (blonde, green top): "I took the first six weeks of an economics course in college."
Man (dark suit): "I listen to a LOT of talk radio."
Step 2: STATE YOUR OPPOSING VIEWS
Woman: "I believe in a constitutional republic with slightly MORE government intervention."
Man: "Well, I believe in a constitutional republic with slightly LESS government intervention."
(Next panel: the two point angrily at each other.)
Step 3: REMEMBER, HYPERBOLE IS A FORM OF LOGIC
Woman: "Well, why don't we just let gorillas eat everyone's babies?!"
Man: "Anything to spare them from your tax ideas!"
Step 4: AVOID FACTS AT ANY COST
A third person (blond): "Can either of you cite any sources for your claims?"
Man: "I'm not a walking encyclopedia!"
Step 5: AGREE ON IMPORTANT POINTS
Woman and man shake hands, smiling.
Woman: "I hope you die."
Step 6: NOTIFY CONGRESS OF YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS
(The woman and man are each on a telephone, faces contorted in rage, a lightning bolt between them. No dialogue text.)
Step 7: WATCH THE SYSTEM WORK
A woman (politician): "Two of my constituents want something about gorillas eating babies. Can I get that attached to the new education bill?"
A man (politician, pointing finger): "Me too!"
A second man: "I'd vote for that!"
An older man with glasses listens.
Votey:
A gorilla stands beside a smiling man.
Man: "I'm starting to wish I voted more often."
Alt text
A seven-step instructional comic titled "Talking Economics: A Guide," each step labeled in an orange banner. Step 1 (Inform each other of your credentials): a blonde woman says she took the first six weeks of an economics course in college; a man in a suit says he listens to a LOT of talk radio. Step 2 (State your opposing views): both claim to believe in a constitutional republic, she with slightly MORE government intervention, he with slightly LESS, then point angrily at each other. Step 3 (Remember, hyperbole is a form of logic): she shouts "Why don't we just let gorillas eat everyone's babies?!" and he replies "Anything to spare them from your tax ideas!" Step 4 (Avoid facts at any cost): a third person asks if either can cite sources; the man snaps "I'm not a walking encyclopedia!" Step 5 (Agree on important points): the two shake hands and smile while she says "I hope you die." Step 6 (Notify Congress of your recommendations): both scream into telephones with a lightning bolt between them. Step 7 (Watch the system work): a politician asks to attach "something about gorillas eating babies" to a new education bill, and other politicians enthusiastically agree. Votey (aftercomic): a gorilla stands next to a cheerful man who says, "I'm starting to wish I voted more often."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.