2009-03-06
Original: 2009-03-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A balding man in a white shirt, standing in clouds, speaks confidently to another man wearing a yarmulke.
Balding man: COME ON, I WAS A GOOD JEW OVERALL, AND KOSHER 99% OF THE TIME, GOD'S NOT GOING TO KEEP ME OUT JUST BECAUSE I HAD BACON, OR A FEW BITES OF CLAM CHOWDER.
Panel 2:
The balding man's face falls as he looks up, horrified.
Balding man: OH CRAP.
Panel 3:
A wide shot reveals what he is seeing: a heavenly throne. Seated upon it is an enormous pink pig-like deity. Beside the throne stands a giant clam shell on a pedestal. The two men sit small in the foreground, facing the throne, with an offering basket nearby. The implication is that God is a pig (and clam), and the man has been eating God's kin.
Votey:
The balding man kneels and addresses the pig deity.
Man: LORD, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?
Pig deity: OINK.
A balding man in a white shirt, standing in clouds, speaks confidently to another man wearing a yarmulke.
Balding man: COME ON, I WAS A GOOD JEW OVERALL, AND KOSHER 99% OF THE TIME, GOD'S NOT GOING TO KEEP ME OUT JUST BECAUSE I HAD BACON, OR A FEW BITES OF CLAM CHOWDER.
Panel 2:
The balding man's face falls as he looks up, horrified.
Balding man: OH CRAP.
Panel 3:
A wide shot reveals what he is seeing: a heavenly throne. Seated upon it is an enormous pink pig-like deity. Beside the throne stands a giant clam shell on a pedestal. The two men sit small in the foreground, facing the throne, with an offering basket nearby. The implication is that God is a pig (and clam), and the man has been eating God's kin.
Votey:
The balding man kneels and addresses the pig deity.
Man: LORD, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?
Pig deity: OINK.
Alt text
A four-panel comic about a man's afterlife. Panel 1: A balding man in a white shirt stands among clouds, confidently telling another man in a yarmulke, "Come on, I was a good Jew overall, and kosher 99% of the time. God's not going to keep me out just because I had bacon, or a few bites of clam chowder." Panel 2: The man's face drops in horror as he looks upward and says, "Oh crap." Panel 3: A wide reveal shows why: the heavenly throne is occupied by a giant pink pig as God, with a huge clam shell displayed beside it. The man has spent his life eating God's own kind. Votey aftercomic: The man kneels before the pig-god and asks, "Lord, what is the meaning of life?" The pig-god answers, "Oink."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.