2008-12-05
Original: 2008-12-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two robed, godlike figures stand in the clouds with a sun nearby.
First figure: "THE HUMANS AREN'T OBSERVANT ENOUGH!"
Second figure: "TO PUNISH THEM, I'M ELIMINATING SEX!"
Panel 2 (orange caption bar): "TWO SECONDS LATER..."
A woman and a man sit upright in bed, looking blank and idle.
Panel 3 (orange caption bar): "TWO DAYS LATER..."
The same couple sits in bed reading large books. The woman's book reads "PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT MATHEMATICS"; the man's book reads "ENGINEERING AROUND PHYSICS."
Panel 4 (orange caption bar): "TWO WEEKS LATER..."
A laboratory scene. People in lab coats work at a chalkboard covered in equations and diagrams; another writes physics formulas on a whiteboard while holding a flask.
Panel 5 (orange caption bar): "TWO MONTHS LATER..."
Winged angelic figures wield futuristic weapons and aircraft in the clouds, having built an arsenal and stormed the heavens, with the sun in the corner.
Votey:
A child speaks to a parent.
Child: "DADDY, WHY DIDN'T I GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS? WAS I BAD?"
Parent (smiling): "NO, SWEETIE. NO. DON'T WORRY. IT'S BECAUSE WE KILLED GOD."
First figure: "THE HUMANS AREN'T OBSERVANT ENOUGH!"
Second figure: "TO PUNISH THEM, I'M ELIMINATING SEX!"
Panel 2 (orange caption bar): "TWO SECONDS LATER..."
A woman and a man sit upright in bed, looking blank and idle.
Panel 3 (orange caption bar): "TWO DAYS LATER..."
The same couple sits in bed reading large books. The woman's book reads "PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT MATHEMATICS"; the man's book reads "ENGINEERING AROUND PHYSICS."
Panel 4 (orange caption bar): "TWO WEEKS LATER..."
A laboratory scene. People in lab coats work at a chalkboard covered in equations and diagrams; another writes physics formulas on a whiteboard while holding a flask.
Panel 5 (orange caption bar): "TWO MONTHS LATER..."
Winged angelic figures wield futuristic weapons and aircraft in the clouds, having built an arsenal and stormed the heavens, with the sun in the corner.
Votey:
A child speaks to a parent.
Child: "DADDY, WHY DIDN'T I GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS? WAS I BAD?"
Parent (smiling): "NO, SWEETIE. NO. DON'T WORRY. IT'S BECAUSE WE KILLED GOD."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: two robed godlike figures stand in the clouds; one declares humans aren't observant enough, and the other says that to punish them, "I'm eliminating sex!" Panel 2, captioned "Two seconds later," shows a couple sitting bored and idle in bed. Panel 3, "Two days later," shows the same couple in bed reading thick books titled "Particularly Difficult Mathematics" and "Engineering Around Physics." Panel 4, "Two weeks later," is a busy lab full of scientists working on chalkboards of equations. Panel 5, "Two months later," shows winged angelic humans armed with futuristic weapons and aircraft, having technologically stormed heaven. The joke: deprived of sex, humanity poured all that energy into science and weaponry and overthrew the gods. Votey: a child asks, "Daddy, why didn't I get anything for Christmas? Was I bad?" and the smiling parent reassures, "No, sweetie. No. Don't worry. It's because we killed God."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.