Peace
Original: Peace on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A young man climbs toward a small temple at the top of a mountain.
Young man: "Wise master, what is the key to inner peace?"
Panel 2:
A robed, long-haired guru sits cross-legged in meditation.
Guru: "Enough money in index funds that you can withdraw a sustainable 3.5% per year, every year, at a level equivalent to twice the local median income."
Panel 3:
Young man: "That can't be it."
Guru: "Ah yes."
Panel 4:
Guru: "Some people say 4% is safe, but current models say there's a small chance of zeroing out during 30 years, and then where does that leave you?"
Panel 5:
The young man and the guru stand facing each other.
Young man: "I mean, I thought it'd be about silencing your inner voice and just being."
Panel 6:
The guru leans in, mouth wide open, agitated.
Guru: "Yeah? You gonna eat your silent inner voice? Huh? You gonna sleep under a roof made of silent inner voice?"
Panel 7 (wide bottom panel):
Guru (mockingly): "'I must learn to silence the inner voice that says pay rent on time and just BE.' Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?"
Young man: "Please stop yelling."
Votey:
A close-up of the long-haired, bearded guru's face.
Guru: "That will be $700"
A young man climbs toward a small temple at the top of a mountain.
Young man: "Wise master, what is the key to inner peace?"
Panel 2:
A robed, long-haired guru sits cross-legged in meditation.
Guru: "Enough money in index funds that you can withdraw a sustainable 3.5% per year, every year, at a level equivalent to twice the local median income."
Panel 3:
Young man: "That can't be it."
Guru: "Ah yes."
Panel 4:
Guru: "Some people say 4% is safe, but current models say there's a small chance of zeroing out during 30 years, and then where does that leave you?"
Panel 5:
The young man and the guru stand facing each other.
Young man: "I mean, I thought it'd be about silencing your inner voice and just being."
Panel 6:
The guru leans in, mouth wide open, agitated.
Guru: "Yeah? You gonna eat your silent inner voice? Huh? You gonna sleep under a roof made of silent inner voice?"
Panel 7 (wide bottom panel):
Guru (mockingly): "'I must learn to silence the inner voice that says pay rent on time and just BE.' Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?"
Young man: "Please stop yelling."
Votey:
A close-up of the long-haired, bearded guru's face.
Guru: "That will be $700"
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A young man climbs a mountain to a temple and asks a meditating robed guru, "Wise master, what is the key to inner peace?" Instead of spiritual wisdom, the guru answers, "Enough money in index funds that you can withdraw a sustainable 3.5% per year, every year, at a level equivalent to twice the local median income." The man objects, "That can't be it," and the guru, deadpan, says "Ah yes" before doubling down with finance talk about the 4% safe withdrawal rate and a small chance of "zeroing out during 30 years." When the man says he thought enlightenment was about silencing your inner voice and just being, the guru leans in furiously, mouth wide open: "Yeah? You gonna eat your silent inner voice? You gonna sleep under a roof made of silent inner voice?" In the wide final panel he mockingly repeats the man's idea and yells, "Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?" The man meekly replies, "Please stop yelling." Votey: a close-up of the bearded guru's face delivering the punchline, "That will be $700" — he charged for the session.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.