Spoon
Original: Spoon on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Narration: Once upon a time, it was considered unacceptable for leaders to swear.
Narration: Today, the President raised his voice while saying gosh.
(A man at a podium speaks.)
Narration: Later, in the era of perpetual recording, we saw behind the mask of propriety.
First speaker (a man): Senator, there's been an attack on Washington.
Second speaker (a woman): Fucking fuck me sideways with a spoon, I mean, we are looking into the matter urgently.
Narration: To our surprise, the public appreciated it as candor.
Bearded man: This fucker cares about our asses.
Woman: She's just like us regular shitheads.
Third person: Finally some ass-blasting honesty from the political class!
Narration: The accident was tactically repeated.
Speaker (woman, pointing): And we sent that bill straight back to the President because the rights of the people shall not be fucked sideways with a spoon!
[THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]
Narration: As with most social innovations, it worked well until everybody did it.
First man: Senator, Congressman Suzuki called you a shit-for-brains pig-fucker who should die choking on a camel's nutsack.
Second man (in suit): So, he's towing the party line again, eh?
Narration: Inevitably, the norm violation itself became normal...
Woman: We've been using shrimp-dick a lot lately. Crayon-cock was working too. But could we do anything with, perhaps, the anus?
Man: Frank? Order some pizzas?
Narration: ...And what was normal became a sacred expectation.
Man at podium: Ladies and gentlemen of America, the state of our union is fuckin' rad.
Narration: And so, we were back precisely where we started.
Bearded man: Today the governor said the current poverty program was fucking the budget's ass with a pineapple.
Woman at laptop: God, modern politics is so performative.
PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey: (none)
Narration: Today, the President raised his voice while saying gosh.
(A man at a podium speaks.)
Narration: Later, in the era of perpetual recording, we saw behind the mask of propriety.
First speaker (a man): Senator, there's been an attack on Washington.
Second speaker (a woman): Fucking fuck me sideways with a spoon, I mean, we are looking into the matter urgently.
Narration: To our surprise, the public appreciated it as candor.
Bearded man: This fucker cares about our asses.
Woman: She's just like us regular shitheads.
Third person: Finally some ass-blasting honesty from the political class!
Narration: The accident was tactically repeated.
Speaker (woman, pointing): And we sent that bill straight back to the President because the rights of the people shall not be fucked sideways with a spoon!
[THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]
Narration: As with most social innovations, it worked well until everybody did it.
First man: Senator, Congressman Suzuki called you a shit-for-brains pig-fucker who should die choking on a camel's nutsack.
Second man (in suit): So, he's towing the party line again, eh?
Narration: Inevitably, the norm violation itself became normal...
Woman: We've been using shrimp-dick a lot lately. Crayon-cock was working too. But could we do anything with, perhaps, the anus?
Man: Frank? Order some pizzas?
Narration: ...And what was normal became a sacred expectation.
Man at podium: Ladies and gentlemen of America, the state of our union is fuckin' rad.
Narration: And so, we were back precisely where we started.
Bearded man: Today the governor said the current poverty program was fucking the budget's ass with a pineapple.
Woman at laptop: God, modern politics is so performative.
PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey: (none)
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic tracing how political profanity escalated and then normalized. Panel 1: a man at a podium; narration reads "Once upon a time, it was considered unacceptable for leaders to swear. Today, the President raised his voice while saying gosh." Panel 2 ("the era of perpetual recording"): a man tells a woman "Senator, there's been an attack on Washington," and she replies "Fucking fuck me sideways with a spoon, I mean, we are looking into the matter urgently." Panel 3 ("the public appreciated it as candor"): three ordinary people praise the swearing as honesty: "This fucker cares about our asses," "She's just like us regular shitheads," "Finally some ass-blasting honesty from the political class!" Panel 4 ("tactically repeated"): a woman at a podium shouts "...the rights of the people shall not be fucked sideways with a spoon!" with [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]. Panel 5 ("worked well until everybody did it"): a man relays an elaborate insult from "Congressman Suzuki"; a suited man shrugs "So, he's towing the party line again, eh?" Panel 6 ("the norm violation itself became normal"): a woman brainstorms ever-cruder phrases ("shrimp-dick," "crayon-cock," "the anus") while a man casually says "Frank? Order some pizzas?" Panel 7 ("normal became a sacred expectation"): the podium man declares "the state of our union is fuckin' rad." Panel 8 ("back precisely where we started"): a bearded man reads a vulgar political headline to a bored woman at a laptop who says "God, modern politics is so performative" -- swearing now reads as empty performance, completing the cycle. Footer shows PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH and SMBC-COMICS.COM. There is no votey.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.