Tragic
Original: Tragic on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bald man in a red shirt stands triumphant, arms raised, holding up a flask of glowing liquid. He laughs maniacally.
Man: HAHAHAHA! I'VE DONE IT! NOW EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DIED HAS RETROACTIVELY DIED TRAGICALLY YOUNG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Caption banner: EARLIER...
Panel 2:
The same bald man (now calm, wearing glasses) sits being interviewed by a woman with dark hair in a brown shirt.
Woman: SO WHAT GOT YOU INTERESTED IN LONGEVITY SCIENCE?
Man: IT'S ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD.
Footer text: PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH | SMBC-COMICS.COM
Bottom panel (book advertisement):
Text promoting an SMBC book collection, with cover images shown. Reads approximately: PARENTING -- AN SMBC COLLECTION. SAUSAGE LEGS AND THE QUESTS TO JUST STAY ALIVE -- AND AVAILABLE NOW WHEREVER BOOKS... MAY 2026.
Votey:
Close-up of the bald man's grinning, manic face from behind.
Man: NOW TO INVENT A UNIVERSAL HAPPINESS MACHINE SO ALL PREVIOUS LIVES ARE MISERABLE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
A bald man in a red shirt stands triumphant, arms raised, holding up a flask of glowing liquid. He laughs maniacally.
Man: HAHAHAHA! I'VE DONE IT! NOW EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DIED HAS RETROACTIVELY DIED TRAGICALLY YOUNG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Caption banner: EARLIER...
Panel 2:
The same bald man (now calm, wearing glasses) sits being interviewed by a woman with dark hair in a brown shirt.
Woman: SO WHAT GOT YOU INTERESTED IN LONGEVITY SCIENCE?
Man: IT'S ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD.
Footer text: PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH | SMBC-COMICS.COM
Bottom panel (book advertisement):
Text promoting an SMBC book collection, with cover images shown. Reads approximately: PARENTING -- AN SMBC COLLECTION. SAUSAGE LEGS AND THE QUESTS TO JUST STAY ALIVE -- AND AVAILABLE NOW WHEREVER BOOKS... MAY 2026.
Votey:
Close-up of the bald man's grinning, manic face from behind.
Man: NOW TO INVENT A UNIVERSAL HAPPINESS MACHINE SO ALL PREVIOUS LIVES ARE MISERABLE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Alt text
A three-part comic. Panel 1: A bald man in a red shirt stands with arms raised, holding a flask of glowing liquid, laughing maniacally: "HAHAHAHA! I've done it! Now everyone who has ever died has retroactively died tragically young! Ahahahaha!" A banner reads "EARLIER..." Panel 2: The same man, calmer and wearing glasses, sits being interviewed by a dark-haired woman who asks, "So what got you interested in longevity science?" He replies, "It's about changing the world." The joke: extending lifespans means all past deaths now seem to have come 'too young' by comparison. A bottom banner advertises an SMBC book collection. Votey aftercomic: a close-up of the man's manic grinning face as he declares, "Now to invent a universal happiness machine so all previous lives are miserable, ahahahaha!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.