Future
Original: Future on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Interviewer (an older woman with gray hair and round glasses, seated, holding papers): Where do you see yourself here, in one year, five years, ten years?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a woman with dark hair): Doing less but believing I'm doing more.
Panel 3:
Applicant: Earning more but telling people it's harder to get by.
Panel 4:
Applicant: And, all the while, developing a vast sense of confidence due not to having made GOOD decisions, but to having made MANY decisions.
Panel 5:
Interviewer: Sorry. I like your attitude, but you're too self-aware for management.
Panel 6:
Applicant (leaning in, grinning): I meant to say growth mindset/ shitloads of growth mindset/
Votey:
A close-up of the applicant's face, crying with tears streaming down: Metric buttloads of thought leadership!
Interviewer (an older woman with gray hair and round glasses, seated, holding papers): Where do you see yourself here, in one year, five years, ten years?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a woman with dark hair): Doing less but believing I'm doing more.
Panel 3:
Applicant: Earning more but telling people it's harder to get by.
Panel 4:
Applicant: And, all the while, developing a vast sense of confidence due not to having made GOOD decisions, but to having made MANY decisions.
Panel 5:
Interviewer: Sorry. I like your attitude, but you're too self-aware for management.
Panel 6:
Applicant (leaning in, grinning): I meant to say growth mindset/ shitloads of growth mindset/
Votey:
A close-up of the applicant's face, crying with tears streaming down: Metric buttloads of thought leadership!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic depicting a job interview. An older woman with gray hair and glasses interviews a younger woman with dark hair. Panel 1, interviewer: "Where do you see yourself here, in one year, five years, ten years?" Panel 2, applicant deadpan: "Doing less but believing I'm doing more." Panel 3: "Earning more but telling people it's harder to get by." Panel 4: "And, all the while, developing a vast sense of confidence due not to having made GOOD decisions, but to having made MANY decisions." Panel 5, interviewer: "Sorry. I like your attitude, but you're too self-aware for management." Panel 6, the applicant leans in grinning and corrects herself: "I meant to say growth mindset/ shitloads of growth mindset/" The joke is that brutally honest self-awareness about corporate dysfunction disqualifies you, so she pivots to empty management buzzwords. Votey: an extreme close-up of the applicant's face, eyes streaming with tears, declaring through the crying: "Metric buttloads of thought leadership!" — piling on more buzzwords while visibly breaking down.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.