Unread
Original: Unread on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
James Joyce (holding a book labeled "ULYSSES"): I, James Joyce, wrote the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read!
Panel 2:
Stephen Hawking (in a wheelchair, holding a book labeled "A BRIEF HISTORY OF..."): Nonsense! I, Stephen Hawking, have the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read.
Panel 3:
Immanuel Kant (holding a book labeled "A CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON"): Bah! I, Immanuel Kant, have the most widely—
A voice (from offscreen, in a large speech bubble): HA. HA. HA.
Panel 4:
The voice (continuing): AMATEURS.
A glowing book labeled "The BIBLE" floats in the sky above a sun, with the silhouettes of the three men looking up at it.
Votey:
The Bible (in a thought/speech bubble): I wish I'd written self-help and erotic fantasy novels.
Beneath the bubble, a cookie and a small object (a smartphone) sit on a surface.
James Joyce (holding a book labeled "ULYSSES"): I, James Joyce, wrote the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read!
Panel 2:
Stephen Hawking (in a wheelchair, holding a book labeled "A BRIEF HISTORY OF..."): Nonsense! I, Stephen Hawking, have the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read.
Panel 3:
Immanuel Kant (holding a book labeled "A CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON"): Bah! I, Immanuel Kant, have the most widely—
A voice (from offscreen, in a large speech bubble): HA. HA. HA.
Panel 4:
The voice (continuing): AMATEURS.
A glowing book labeled "The BIBLE" floats in the sky above a sun, with the silhouettes of the three men looking up at it.
Votey:
The Bible (in a thought/speech bubble): I wish I'd written self-help and erotic fantasy novels.
Beneath the bubble, a cookie and a small object (a smartphone) sit on a surface.
Alt text
A four-panel comic about famous unread books. Panel 1: A smug man, James Joyce, holds a book labeled ULYSSES and brags, "I, James Joyce, wrote the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read!" Panel 2: An angry man interrupts; in the background Stephen Hawking sits in a wheelchair holding a book labeled A BRIEF HISTORY OF... and says, "Nonsense! I, Stephen Hawking, have the most widely cited book that nobody has actually read." Panel 3: All three men sit together; Immanuel Kant holds A CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON and starts, "Bah! I, Immanuel Kant, have the most widely—" when a booming voice from above laughs, "HA. HA. HA." Panel 4: A glowing copy of The Bible floats in the sky in front of a radiant sun while the three men's silhouettes look up; the divine voice declares, "AMATEURS." Votey: The Bible muses in a speech bubble, "I wish I'd written self-help and erotic fantasy novels," with a cookie and a phone resting below.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.