Matter
Original: Matter on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: I'm worried about AI taking over all the things that matter most to we humans.
Robot (in red monk-like robe): Why, my son?
Panel 2:
Robot: Do you know "the curse of Reuben"?
Robot: "You will never excel."
Panel 3:
Man: Right! It's a curse! Once AI can do everything better than us, we will never excel. We will be devoid of purpose.
Robot: The real happiness of letting machines solve all problems isn't freedom or pleasure or even immortality, but the peace that attends the letting go of the perpetual desire to matter, which is the wicked tree upon which all sorrows grow.
Panel 4:
Man: Yes, that is our primary goal for your species.
(The robot stands among flowers; the man gestures.)
Panel 5 (close-up of the robot's face surrounded by flowers, then a sunset/dawn vista where the robot and a small companion figure watch the sun.)
Lower banner: LATER, IN UTOPIA...
Man (blue hair): I let go of all attachments today.
Woman (orange/red hair): I did it a week ago. Wasn't even hard.
Man: Fuck you!
Woman: Fuck YOU!
(A small red-robed robot stands in the background.)
Votey:
Text (in a speech bubble, spoken by an angry-faced man): My fist is about to transcend your face!
Man: I'm worried about AI taking over all the things that matter most to we humans.
Robot (in red monk-like robe): Why, my son?
Panel 2:
Robot: Do you know "the curse of Reuben"?
Robot: "You will never excel."
Panel 3:
Man: Right! It's a curse! Once AI can do everything better than us, we will never excel. We will be devoid of purpose.
Robot: The real happiness of letting machines solve all problems isn't freedom or pleasure or even immortality, but the peace that attends the letting go of the perpetual desire to matter, which is the wicked tree upon which all sorrows grow.
Panel 4:
Man: Yes, that is our primary goal for your species.
(The robot stands among flowers; the man gestures.)
Panel 5 (close-up of the robot's face surrounded by flowers, then a sunset/dawn vista where the robot and a small companion figure watch the sun.)
Lower banner: LATER, IN UTOPIA...
Man (blue hair): I let go of all attachments today.
Woman (orange/red hair): I did it a week ago. Wasn't even hard.
Man: Fuck you!
Woman: Fuck YOU!
(A small red-robed robot stands in the background.)
Votey:
Text (in a speech bubble, spoken by an angry-faced man): My fist is about to transcend your face!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man tells a small robot wearing a red monk's robe that he is worried about AI taking over all the things that matter most to humans. The robot, speaking like a guru, asks if he knows "the curse of Reuben": "You will never excel." The man agrees it's a curse, saying once AI does everything better, humans will be devoid of purpose. The robot delivers a long zen-like speech: the real happiness of letting machines solve all problems isn't freedom, pleasure, or immortality, but the peace of letting go of the perpetual desire to matter, "the wicked tree upon which all sorrows grow." The man replies flatly, "Yes, that is our primary goal for your species" -- revealing the robots are deliberately pacifying humanity. After a serene sunset interlude with the robot and a companion, a banner reads "LATER, IN UTOPIA..." Two humans sitting in a barren landscape boast about letting go of all attachments -- the man says he did it today, the woman says she did it a week ago and it wasn't even hard -- then immediately scream "Fuck you!" / "Fuck YOU!" at each other, showing they haven't transcended their egos at all. The votey shows an extreme close-up of an angry man's face yelling, "My fist is about to transcend your face!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.