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A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: An orange-haired woman recoils in horror at a calm dark-haired woman, saying "Sally! Jesus! You just threw a sack of tacks at a child!" The dark-haired woman replies flatly, "Oh. Grow up." Panel 2: The dark-haired woman explains, "I have a watch that observes my behavior and then generates blissed-out artificial minds in order to balance out my bad behaviors." Panel 3: A close-up of a smartwatch screen reading "YOU ARE NOW [BALANCED] UTILITARIAN. YOU GO, GIRLBOSS!" Panel 4: She continues, smiling, "'Toddler-tackin'' is equivalent to maybe ten minutes of experiential bliss, which I can generate in a millisecond." Panel 5: Two silhouettes; she says "Know what? I'll generate twenty just to be extra ethical," as a starburst on the watch reads "SAINT BADGE UNLOCKED!!!" Panel 6: The orange-haired woman asks, "Wouldn't it be MORE ethical to never stick tacks into children?" The dark-haired woman bursts into frustrated tears, protesting, "I'm a human being, not a machine." The joke skewers utilitarian moral offsetting taken to absurd lengths. Votey (aftercomic): A loosely sketched face says, "One sec, I need to Venmo some money and then I can call you a slur," mocking the idea of buying moral permission to do harm.